Unable to recover from a breakup

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Sarjo
Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 4:00 pm
Gender: Female

Unable to recover from a breakup

Post by Sarjo »

Hello all

I recently dated a man for only a few weeks. There were times where I felt unsure but then we had an amazing date where we really clicked and everything seemed to be progressing..he was very keen (maybe getting a bit ahead of himself) and I shared some personal things. Because I felt vulnerable I called him the next day to see if he still felt the same and he handled it clumsily so I ended it. We then chatted, decided it was a misunderstanding and carried on. On the next date, he arrived looking anxious and tired, and also told me he had been out with his new workmates and got so drunk he couldn’t remember getting home. This worried me a bit because he told
Me when younger he had a history of getting into fights when drunk and rarely drank now (I never saw him drink). When I asked him about it he pretty much upped and left saying it was only a one off Xmas do, and we weren’t getting each other and ended it with me.
During the time we saw each other it was clear he has problems with work, and relationships with people in general. He said an ex thought he might have autism.

I have been so upset about it all and cannot get over it. I keep thinking about asking if we can meet to talk. I realise now looking back that our issues were misunderstandings in the main. We both messed up and let our anxieties get the better of each other. Although the drinking to excess night is a worry. Everyone is telling me to forget him and move on but I can’t.

I’m keen to hear anyone’s thoughts.
boulding
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu May 29, 2014 10:50 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Unable to recover from a breakup

Post by boulding »

Hi Sargo
This is very very hard for you because your feelings are engaged even though common sense and friends are telling you that this relationship might not be a good idea. Yes there do seem to be problems and these may or may not be able to be sorted out. Forget about talking things out as that might be pressurising him. Just let a bit of time pass, then ring him up and suggest (in a matter of fact way) meeting for a drink as friends. Good Luck and look after yourself.
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