Think i might be developing an eating disorder

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Think i might be developing an eating disorder

Post by Mmms »

I dont know but i know im not eating enough and im at my perfect weight again. Losing more and il be just bones or so people tells me. But i look and feel fat. I dont know how much weight i lost recently (since july) but i definately have lost some as my clothes feel big. I have to wear belts on my pants.

I am eating so i dont have anorexia. On a typical day i might have a bowl of cereal in the morning. A yoghurt and breakfast bar as a snack around midday. And a sandwich or roll which iv made myself (cause i know exactly what goes into it) at lunchtime. I dont want butter or mayonaise for fear of adding extra calories. I will just have 2 slices of bread with a slice of cheese. I always pick stuff with the lowest amount of calories too. And in the evening, it might be another bowl of cereal or a small can of beans or a small can of tuna with a few crackers. At a guess im probably taking in between 1000-1200 calories a day.

What brought it all on? My granny died in july. I was making a major life change in august. I was preparing to go back to college to follow my dream. But to do the course i wanted to do, i had to move away from home and give up with work. Giving up with work wasn't a bad idea as i hated it but i miss the money. I miss home, i had to leave my family and friends behind and my pets. So im on my own. Im in a course i love but most of the students are younger than me. Im 28 and i feel that they concentrate more on drink and going out more than anything else. That can be a good thing but i dont want to live for drink.

And to top it all off, which i think is the real reason behind it all is the guy i liked for ages was messing with my head. I used to work with him and always liked him so at my going away party he kissed me and gave me his number. He told me after that he had a partner, which i didn't know about and he even wanted to see me. I thought he might be having problems and he wanted to move on but how wrong was i. Its been 7 weeks and nothing. ...Im not even worth seeing. He just wanted to use me. .... From someone i have always liked, its killing me.

The same thing happened a few years ago, i was messed about. What did i do? I lost 5 stone. I got myself down to a size 10-12. Oh wait until he sees me type of thing. Though i needed to lose that weight. At the start of july i was 10 and a half stone. And i cant lose another 5 stone for some guy messing me about. But for every pound i lose i feel so much happier with myself, more in control. I havn't weighed myself as i dont have a weighing scales but my clothes are feeling bigger.

How do i stop this from going further?
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Re: Think i might be developing an eating disorder

Post by Bel Bel »

I think you should look at a support site

Have you tried to talk to your family or your doctor.

The fact you are accepting you may have a problem is excellent

You are clearly using food as something you can control and realise this isn't healthy. It would be much better to get some help now than leave it until the problem gets much worse
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Re: Think i might be developing an eating disorder

Post by ennis81 »

Hi :)

I suffered from an eating disorder for a few yrs due to Stress and stuff I was going through at the time. I would definitely looking back at my situation say that it came about because I felt my life was so outta of control , and food seemed like the only thing I could control. I didn't really realise how bad I had gotten for a long time, and everytime someone commented on how thin I was, I did feel secretly pleased, Like I had achieved something.
A couple of years ago I went for Counselling and it helped me loads, sometimes I still struggle with it, but It has gotten easier and I am a normal size 10 again, at my worse I was size 6 and still felt fat, seems so bizarre now. I look back at photos of me at that time and can't believe I couldn't see what I was doing to myself, I was like a corpse, sunken face with matchstick arms and legs, and believe me it wasn't a good look.
Like Bel Bel said go to your doctor and get some help, don't worry about that bloke who hasn't contacted you, its his loss, and by the sounds of it you need to take care of yourself at the moment and get your confidence back.
I know things are hard for you now, but you must get help before this gets worse and you do yourself some damage. Your body needs food to function properly just like a car needs petrol :wink:
By the way I think your very brave for following your dreams and going back to college, If you've got the guts to give up everything to go after what you want then you can get over this.
Hope this helps a bit. take care x
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Re: Think i might be developing an eating disorder

Post by SpongebobClaire »

maybe you just have the potential to develop an eating disorder at the minute. at least you have noticed that you are developing some kind of problem with your eating.

i have anorexia, and i eat. quite a lot at times. sometimes i think i mustn't have anorexia because i do eat but that isn't always the case.
with me, one day i could eat normal for a day, but then i would stay off food for 2-3 days to make up for the amount i ate. most days i go with eating one proper thing a day, and when i say proper, i mean like a bowl of cereal. sometimes i'll havea proper meal. the majority of the time though, i get by from just eating a packet of m&ms or malteasers lol.
if you are noticing you're having issues though, then maybe you should get some professional help from a doctor as i know how bad it can get at times.
i've had mine since i was so young, i can't even remember when it started or even how it started. so now, it's even harder for me to sort it out
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