Need some friendly advice

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Just Landed
Just Landed
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:58 pm
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Need some friendly advice

Post by michelle121 » Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:05 pm

I'm 25 female
Looking for abit of advice my guy broke up with me on Sunday and I haven't slept or eaten since. Have been in such a mess and last few days I kept texting him saying how much I love him. He did say it's taken me to break up with you to sort things out and the constant text messages from you is doing my head in & its making my decisions to end things stick more & more. So I really have stopped the texting now. Just it's been hard as I'm sure anyone in my shoes would of done the same.

Wednesday I sent him a gift via email to a meal at a really nice posh restaurant he told me not to spend any money on him but I wanted to treat him as his treated me. I have also through about writing him a letter as iv red up it's meant to be a cute way instead of text message and in that letter putting a hotel 1 night break which I bought the gift card today. I didn't want to send the letter now in time. He text me last night 12am saying ' look I just want to say I'm sorry ' I'm not sure what meant by that as I'm sorry for breaking up with me or sorry Iv hurt you. So I didn't reply as didn't want to bombard him. I hope that's right thing to do?
This is all very fresh for me as we only broke up on Sunday so my mind and heart is racing millions. I don't want to rush anything or say the wrong thing but I also don't want to wait for ever.

I really don't want to loose him his been a rock to me. He said his broken up with me because of work though is stressing him out & he loves me but it's made us less close. We've been together 6 months but we adore eachother. We never argue or anything. The last month hasn't been great because his been so down with work when he comes to mine also I missed 2 of his family events ( same weekend ) christening & birthday party I was so gutted but I was so sick. Embarrassing I know but suffer from
Heavy periods. I messaged his mum and apologised I couldn't make her birthday and she removed me from Facebook I believe maybe she just doesn't want to get involved which is fair enough or my fella told her to remove me. I know it's bad but Iv only met her once in 6 months when I saw her I wasn't bad it seemed to get worse & worse. We kept in touch over fb as she saw I was in a state about them and I sent her some cupcakes.
I'm so upset about it and ripping my hair so much. I wouldn't do it on purpose.
It's got in the way on a few occasions like my friends wedding I couldn't attend I was gutted.
Monday I ran to the doctors in a state demanding they help me with it and they put me on the pill. I text him saying I should hopefully have that issue sorted now. And he said I'm glad your getting it sorted Iv been telling you for ages. He also said you've shown me so much emotion in the last 12 hours then you have in 6 months I knew you had it in there though. I always told him I loved him but serious chats I would laugh off. Iv been single for 4 years due to issues and travelling. Iv been treated soo badly it takes me some time to come out my shell. Iv never felt this way about a guy before. I can't believe how much I love him! And I know he loves me as he said he doesn't want me to block his number but he wants me to leave him alone and give him space. However I have blocked him on all my social media accounts as it was too hard for me to see he had deleted our pictures.
I'm so scared that his going to forget me and find a stunning girl!

Please help.

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Re: Need some friendly advice

Post by reckoner » Mon Jul 03, 2017 1:12 pm

I'm sorry to be blunt because I can imagine how much you don't want to lose him but it seems very clear from your post that you already have.

It's inevitable and understandable that you want the reasons why he has finished the relationship, but knowing the reasons doesn't mean you can change things and make them right.

I think the reasons people usually give for ending a relationship describe examples of when they decided things weren't right rather than why. Basically, things were already wrong; you either want to be in the relationship or you don't and the reasons are simply the clothes that the decision is dressed up in. You can't change the decision any more than you can turn back time.

If the decision was a surprise, this demonstrates that there was some kind of failure in the connection you shared. It's great that you're taking steps to address the problems he gave as reasons that will make your life better; use this and anything you can learn from this failure so you don't repeat mistakes in the future. But this should be for yourself, not to win him back.

Good luck, you will feel better with time.

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