by Tarantula » Thu Sep 29, 2016 3:36 pm
I don't want to upset you, but you sound a little insensitive. It's your husband who's just experienced a very life-threatening illness, not you. Why aren't you supporting him?
I'm surprised you'd even mention not being able to get away for a couple of days, in light of such a bigger issue.
Genuine question: why aren't you supporting him?
You might want to run away but you shouldn't. The person you married must be really in need of some support. My current partner - his ex had an affair when he got cancer. I guess things just got all too real for her, so she took the easy way out instead of keep her marriage vows. Some people only stick around as long as they have something to gain. They leave as soon as the benefits stop.
When I read the first line that your husband got cancer, I thought, oh no, how horrible, you must be sick with worry and doing everything you can to make him feel better. Then I read about how your little holiday is cancelled and got confused.
You have to face one problem at a time. And honestly, next to your husband having cancer - the car failing its MOT and not getting to go away for a weekend really should be the least of your concerns. You need time to adjust to your kid going to uni and, whatever you do, don't make your partner feel guilty for getting ill.
Communicate honestly - and not in a blaming way - with your husband and your feelings and listen to his views too. Visit him every day and do something nice for him to show you care. Through doing nice things, you'll begin to feel better too, and perhaps less ashamed, as it sounds like you know you could've done a better job for him.