my son

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my son

Postby brfc » Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:33 pm

Hi guys

Just wanted too get stuff of my chest and hope u can offer some advice on it Right were do i start. Some may know part of this story some dont.


I have a 3 yr old son whos been diagnosed with mild autism. i split with his mum about a year ago now mainly too do with a online game called world of warcraft which was and still is her life. spends hours and hours in vertual reality world.

After that she was diagnosed with deppression and our son was taken off her after she threatened too kill her and him. He now lives with her parents as i cant afford place of my own too have him at the moment (ex left me in 10 thousand pound of debt which im paying off) and i spend time with him at ex,s at weekends. social services eventually think he,ll be better back with his mum.

Now forward a year too now. social services asked me what i thought about her having him back. Her parents want things too return too normal which in a way i do as i am stuck too a set routine at weekends having little one as ex cant have him on her own BUT Im still worried about her online addiction and it affecting my son if he did go back too her i.e her online game coming first before him. she keeps finding so called boyfriends on this game her new one is from holland but i worry that if another gamer moves in with her she,ll neglect our son for this game.

Mayb ill just see how things go. when he was with her before he was so withdrawn and sad but now hes a really happy chap since hes moved in with her parents. just want him too stay happy and not go back too how things were before. I love him so much. hes my life and like most dads just want whats best for him.
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Re: my son

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:51 am

Are you able to see how long she spoends on the game and flag this as a concern to social services.

You have to think about what's best for your son.

I don't think you should worry about what might be. If and when she gets a b/f thats the time to deal with that situation.

How does she interact with him now he is living with her parents? Does she want him back? Does she even accept her gaming is a problem? Have you ever talked to her about the gaming issue?
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Re: my son

Postby brfc » Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:50 pm

Hi Bel Bel

The only time i get too see her is at weekends and she plays non stop say from morning till night. Ive told social services she has a internet gaming addiction so they do know about it. She has various online boyfriends through this game and her new one is visiting from holland in 4 weeks but he wont see little one as im taking him away. Normally they disapear anyway after they meet in person as there relationship is fantasy and they cant cope with real life. Im told she does more things in the week with him but not sure how much. she says she wants him back but tbh she cant look after herself let alone a child. i go round there at weekends and the washings never done and housework rarely done. she doesnt relise she has a gaming addiction. she never has thats main reason why me and her broke up. i was a single parent basically as she spends all her time online. ive talked and talked too her about it but like most addictions you got too relise theres a problem before you want too get help.
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Re: my son

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:09 pm

So you have done all you can for now
You will just have to monitor the situation.
It certainly isn't acceptable to introduce your son to a guy she hardly knows, if that happens I think you will have to deal with it.
Can you talk to her parents about this sort of thing, are they are your side so to speak?
Socail services will not consider a child at risk if the house is not too dirty. I know it's hard but your level or cleaniness and hers may not meet but it might not be enough for them to take your son back to the in laws.
I am sure she will be carefully monitored with recent events in the news.
I know it must be sooo frustrating for you. All you can do is get in a postion where you can have him more. Is there any likelyhood of that in the near future? I know you don't have ideal living conditions right now.
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Re: my son

Postby brfc » Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:51 am

Hi Bel Bel

Yeah ill just keep an eye on things for now. yeah her parents know what shes like and i feel i can approach them with any concerns. they love there grandchild and wants whats best for him. Social services asked me about him going back too her and i said yes as long as people are still keeping an eye on her. i dont trust her being left on her own looking after him. social services said there not going away completly and will still monitor the situation which is a relief too me. If need be ill take him on myself in the future aslong as hes safe and happy thats my main concern and whatever it takes ill do it
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Re: my son

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:15 pm

=D> such a great dad.
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Re: my son

Postby brfc » Thu Oct 14, 2010 7:03 am

Thanks Bel Bel :)
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