Flatmate from hell!

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Flatmate from hell!

Post by unistudent02a » Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:23 am

So I started University last September, and like the majority of students I was put into halls of residence with random people. My university halls are set up like flats so there are 6 of us living in a flat sharing a kitchen and living area. Everything was fine to begin with (isn't it always?) I made quite good friends with the people in my flat and the flat next door and we would all hang about together.
However, it was clear within the first week that 2 of our flatmates did not - and would not - get on, they would argue all the time and things became quite tense when they were both in a room together, this was all abolished when one of them fell pregnant and dropped out of University. Nevertheless, within a couple of weeks of this girl leaving it became quite clear to me that this other flatmate was just looking for confrontation when he started to tease me - first calling me the "new" Mel (the name of the girl he didn't get on with at the beginning of term). After a while we decided to break it to him that we didn't want to live with him next year and that we had decided on who we were getting a house with and he didn't react well, moving his TV and PS3 from the living area back into his room and writing us a letter saying that he won't bother trying with us anymore because it was clear we don't like him and leave him out etc etc (which was a bit deluded of him from all of our point of views - he had upset us all by becoming violent when drunk - kicking things into the wall and shouting at us etc).
Christmas came and when we got back my other flatmates and I decided we were going to try and make an effort with him again for the sake of a nice living environment. I soon became friends with another group from my course rather than where I lived and decided that I didn't want to share a house with the people I had originally planned. When I dropped out they were desperate to find another person and so asked this flatmate from hell to be in their house next year because eveyone had been getting on well. Since then the other who I was supposed to share the house with have forgiven me and let bygones be bygones but this flatmate (who got a house for next year because I dropped out) has held a massive grudge and become really pathetic. At first he didn't talk to me unless he was drunk, then he decided to write on the washing up liquid "Not for [my] use", he woke me up one morning by turning the TV up full blast - because apparently i had been too loud coming in the night before (i hadn't been drinking and a friend and I simply went into my room for 10 minutes before she had to get a bus). He blames me for everything and it really gets me down - he is practically bullying me. The people he is sharing with next year all keep apologizing for him - none of them are getting on with him anymore, but I just can't stand it for much longer! I have my male friends asking to beat him up or mess around with his things in the kitchen but I'm just trying to rise above it all.

I have considered asking to move flat's but is this really necessary? Does anybody have any experiences with things like this from Uni and if so what did they do about it?

I hope you can help and I apologize for the lengthy explanation.

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Re: Flatmate from hell!

Post by Angel_Fairy » Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:55 am

Hello :)
That's the sad thing about Uni, you never know who you are going to be put with. Most of the time it all works out but, occasionally there are awkward people that just don't want to fit in with everyone.

I have been in a very similar position, and we got landed with a girl who didn't want to be a t uni, so was dossing about and just made a game of making everyone miserable. She was loaded, and her mum and dad paid for everything, so she would break our vacuum and leave the lights on all the time, so we had to replace them and had huge bills to pay. She would come in 4am in the morning with her BF and have a huge row- which would end in us taking them to A&E on more than 3 occasions.

This is the unpredictability of being a student unfortunately as you are either going to be lucky or not with your housemates.

I let her ruin my Uni experience and I am upset I didn't just sort it out when it first became a problem (like you) so I could enjoy the rest of the time there.

What you have to remember that you are only at uni for a few years and you can't waste this amazing experience worrying about a silly man like him- however hard this seems now.

You have confronted him, and he hasn't dealt with it- so What? he doesn't deserve your time, just try and look at it from how it will seem in 2 years- when it'll be all done with- and how ridiculous he has been.

You can also take comfort that it is all his fault- not yours! and everyone knows this- as they feel the need to apologize to him.

Just don't go out of your way to be under his feet and he'll have no excuse to continue this ridiculous behaviour... Maybe he went to an all boys school, or simply never had friends that are girls and just can't cope with it all.

Either way, try and stay out of his way- and laugh at his silliness! It's not often you see a grown 'man' writing on washing up liquid, one person cannot use it. LOL. Silly,silly man!

Try and enjoy the rest of your time, good luck xxx

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