Mistakes

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Mistakes

Postby bethd_15 » Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:00 pm

The last and only time I posted on here was around April and I was having trouble with boys, social life, etc. There was a lad I really liked and I didn’t think he liked me, I felt my social life was pretty boring as I’d never been to parties, etc and I felt bad about myself. Well since then, quite a bit has happened. About a month after, the lad told me he liked me and I was extremely chuffed. He waited about a week to ask me out (to my face!) and I was thinking it would all be great.

It was awkward for the first few days but that Friday, we went to the park and everything was fine. When we got back to school, it seemed awkward again - I’m a very shy person but that’s a problem I’ll get onto later. That Wednesday I wasn’t at school as I was at a funeral, and I made a big mistake. I sent him a message on Facebook asking if he thought it was working out and would it be best to end it, as we’d been such good friends it was just a bit weird? And later that night, we talked for a bit and it ended.

The problem is me.

I didn’t find it weird because we’d been such good friends. That was a lie. I’d loved him for ages. It was awkward and I finished it because of who I am. I don’t know how to act in situations like that. I feel embarassed by lovey-dovey behaviour, I didn’t know how to act or what to say around him, I couldn’t take the first move to hold his hand or kiss him and I don’t know why. I’m too shy in those situations and it’s getting me down the way I am and how this personality trait ended something I’d wanted for ages.

We didn’t really speak after that and on Facebook, we got into an argument over something stupid that I can’t be bothered to go into. He apologised the next morning for the things he’d said and I accepted his apology but we didn’t really speak until July, when my friend had a party. We had a chat and became friends again. We’d had a bit to drink and I ended up kissing him, but it didn’t really mean anything as I thought I was over him.

Not long after that, I began texting a boy I’d started to like. We texted throughout the holidays and when we got back to school, everytime I saw him I smiled or wanted to have a conversation, but he was too shy and tried to avoid me. I didn’t see the point anymore, so the “texting relationship” started to fizzle out and we haven’t text in about a week. My shyness comes into that situation again. Fair enough he was shy, but if I wasn’t, I could’ve made something out of the fact we liked each other. But very recently, I realised I still liked the boy I’d like for so long. I’d never really fallen out of love with him, it was just my fault I finished it. Now I don’t know what to do. He’s started talking to me again on Facebook recently, and being flirty, but I don’t know if he’s just having a laugh and doing it to every girl. I swear he knows I still like him, I think he can tell. We have occasional conversations in form at school but I always think to myself ‘how can I love this boy so much when I don’t even see him enough’? I just wish I had that confidence to tell him how I still feel, had that confidence that might make him like me again, and had the confidence not to be the most awful girlfriend in the world.

I’ve spoken to my closest friends about this a bit - they know I still like him but they don’t know the full extent as I’m too embarassed to explain to anyone about the situation, about my problems.

I’m falling back into that pit of depression and bad moods that I HATE and I don’t want it to go on much longer. Any advice would be great! It just feels better to get it off my chest. x
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Re: Mistakes

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:47 pm

Ok I am the opposite to you so I put my foot in it by saying too much usually :oops:
Anyway I think you have to remind yourself that you have nothing to mlose but a few minutes of embarrassment, which you will very soon forget.
Life is too short not to take opportunities. So what if they don't all work out, it will help you make better decisions and judge situations better, thinking of it as a learning process, ou have to make mistakes to get great at it

Try this link and see if it helps
http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20- ... k-shyness/

or get this book, or both
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Soci ... 1854877038

I hope things work out for you
:D
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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