Isolated

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Isolated

Postby indulge » Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:46 pm

I want to begin by appologising for the speelings in this, im dyslexic.
Im 16 years old and currently in 6th form. I have a twin sister (we're call her F) and only one true friend (D). The three of us have been the closest of friends for 10 years, but i have always felt a little bit left out, as they say 3s a crowd. But this year F became very distant and ignored me and D completly for 2 months. It was then revealed to me that F claimed to have been raped a few months earlyer. She told a teacher and another girl in our year, which really hurt me. What hurt me the most however was the fact that I could not belive any part of what she claimed. It's not just because I did'nt want to belive it it's just that I couldn't, not a word. I was not allowed to talk about it to anyone not even D, to this day she does not know. I tried to talk about it with F but she refused and said 'she couldn't' but she managed to tell her teacher and another girl she never spoke to. I really began to become angery at, F. She had the nerve to tell people that she tried to talk to me about it and said I refused. The anger i felt towards F and myself really started to get to me, and i distanced myself from my parents, people around, D and ofcourse F. As a result of my actions i know i have pushed people away from me, but i was still very close to D.
F and D did not speak a word to each other for 3 months, F missed D's birthday and rejected every apologie D offered, thinking she had done something wrong. But suddenly one day F decided to talk to D and myself properly again, but acted like nothing happened providing no explanation for ingnoring D for so long.
Today, D and F are like normal as close as ever, closer then i am to either of them. I became close to a teacher of mine (nothing sexual just very good friends) Mr P. Me and him our very similar in our views, our humor and our manerisums. I would speak to him like everyday in the corridor, in the canteen or in his room, we could talk for ages. The conversations I had with him felt so natural and easy. F was not happy with the fact i was becoming closer to him and made it her mission to not ever let me see him on my own and when i did she would try and make me look stupid or make fun of me. F once made an inopropriate joke/comment about how close me and Mr P had become, sshe said to him 'You should think about your job and reputation not about C (thats what we shall call me) and your relationship.' Ever since then we only talk when we need to.
I have really began to feel isolated and kinda hopeless. I have no intention of 're-building' my relations ship with my sister, but Mr P means so much to me, i dont want to lose the friendship we once had. I just dont know how to begin. Please help. Thankyou. x
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Re: Isolated

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:24 pm

You don't give any specific reasons why you think your sister is lying about being raped. Sometimes it is so hard to open up to those close to you which is why perhaps she found it easier to confide in this other girl.
It's D's choice if she wants to be your sisters friend after everything that has happened. I can understand it hurts that D had forgiven F so easily.
I actually think F is right about your relationship with Mr P, it could be very damaging to his career if people assume there is more going on than just friendship. Even if you left school and then saw him people would be bound to talk. Teachers have to be very careful how they act around pupils.
F is your sister and she will alwyas be in your life, she is family. I don't think you should push her aside because of a teacher you will never see again once you have left school.
I think you should try to make peace with your sister. You can tell her how much it hurt you that she didn't turn to you in a crisis (I think for the sake of making up you have to assume she is telling the truth about the rape)
You say that she had the nerve to tell people you wouldn't listen about the rape but you only know that as gossip from other people, what if it isn't true and it's people just wanting to stir or they got the wrong end of the stick. Perhaps you need to talk to your sister about all the things upsetting you and don't necessarily be redy to listen to others so easily.
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