Illogical lust

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Illogical lust

Postby kissurpast85 » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:02 am

Hi... This is embarassing and hopefully never to be traced by anyone I know (or who knows me). Anyway I've had this crush on this guy who used to come in once a week (I've been working in the same place for approaching two years.... stupid monkey pub work) regularly on a certain day... anyway he's not come in regularly for months and it was only after he stopped coming in I noticed how disgustingly compatible we were, despite previous comments from my boss saying 'you 2 would be perfect together' etc... anyway... after months of not seeing him he came in one manically busy evening and I thought to myself 'ugh, what did i see in this guy' even though he was just drunk and being supported by the wall, then... nothing for months... then i saw his friend and harassed them with stupid questions like 'where's crazy pretty guiness guy' and he was like 'which one' and bless then he was there the next week but I was in a jelly mood.... then a couple of weeks later he was there but I was knackered and I realised I still find him stupendously attractive... but I've not seen him for over two months. And it's getting pathetic. REALLY PATHETIC. and possibly bordering on stalking...? I kick myself in hindsight for not having talked to him earlier... kick myself over and over again. Should i assume i will never see him again and take it as part of the learning-curve and never waste another opportunity or wait in vain for him to re-appear because i am convinced he may be (shame on me for using the xpression) my 'soulmate'- PFF. But i've not found anyone attractive consistently for over 6 years... I can't get him out of my head. Someone please kick me in the head and put in all in perspective! What to do... I will hack another 2 months at the job even though I've had itchy feet for ages incase he turns up, after that the dream is dead... Please slap me for being irrational!
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Re: Illogical lust

Postby ILoveChristmas » Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:38 am

Welcome to the forum.

I think you know yourself that your attraction or fascination (can I call it that?) with this man is heightened because you don't see him on a regular basis. Sure you find him very attractive and probably would continue to find him attractive if he came in all the time, but the fact that you see him and think about him without seeing him all the time gives you a false impression of what he really means to you.

I'm not suggesting you put him out of your head, actually I don't agree that you're being pathetic, I think you have a strong attraction to someone based on first impressions.That's what you musn't lose sight of though I think, you don't actually know him.

I think the situation is this:

1. You're drawn to this man for whatever reason (the reason isn't really very important)
2. You haven't felt this way about anyone for a long time
3. You're not planning to be in this job and have opportunity to see him for much longer

As a result, I think you ought to take the bull by the horns. Either speak to him the next time he's in, or speak to his friends if he's not. Explain you'd like to get in touch with him and see what happens. His friends will almost certainly help you out and i'm sure he would be delighted as well. Yes, it's going to be embarassing for you and yes, there is a chance it might backfire, but 2 minutes of embarassment is probably going to be worth it. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, at least you'll know.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. - Stephen Fry.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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Re: Illogical lust

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:58 pm

I totally agree with I Love Christmas
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

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Re: Illogical lust

Postby LemonJuice87 » Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:34 am

This is exactly how I met my boyfriend just under 2 years ago.
I was working in a pub and he was a regular.

I bit the bullet one night and asked him to walk me home (I only lived 2 streets away at the time lol) and he was the perfect gentleman. Took my number, arranged a date and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I have never in all my life had a man who did what he did that night. We now live together and have been together nearly 2 years.

When you next see him, just go and ask him if he fancies having a drink together, when your not working obviously lol. Then take it from there.
As ILoveChristmas said, it might backfire, but at least you will know and can move on if he isnt interested.

And I dont think your been pathetic at all. I was EXACTLY like you before I actually approached my boyfriend.

Good Luck, I hope it works out for you. :)
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When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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