Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

For problems with any other type of relative, neighbours, teachers, the milkman!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby happiness will come » Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:33 am

We both go to the same uni and met each other on the uni website for accomodation and searched for a place together. At the start it was fine.. it was just us 2. We still had to find 2 other people to fill the other rooms in the house though. Eventually through a friend of his we found a girl to live with us. She came round after meeting him at the station and i had to go to uni so i left. I later got a text from him saying " What do you think of ********, i think she would look good naked!" And also when i got home he said he was pleased that she was moving in and that she could sleep in his room if she liked. I just nodded my head not wanting to show him how dumb he sounded. The day before she was due to move in he had a grin on his face when i mentioned her name. So.. eventually he was sticking to her like super glue, it has become very irritating. I feel like i have been left on the outside because he doesnt give her breathing space to meet and get to know other people, and i know for a fact he is not the type of person she goes for. When we recently went out clubbing he was standing next to her all night acting like some sort of bodyguard and looking around towards her like she belonged to him and trying to protect her from guys. Earlier they went out to the shops without even asking me if i wanted to go with them or if i wanted anything, it felt like a kick in the groin because it was the first time they have gone out whilst i was in the house and they didnt ask if i wanted to go. It feels like he just wants her all to himself.. and i feel like i have been unwillingly drawn into some sort of immature competitive game. I have noticed these characteristics of his right from the start when he wanted the biggest room and wasnt ashamed to ask for it, i just let him have it as i wasnt fussed as we already paid a cheap price. Now i am regreting it because it feels like he is taking advantage of every situation. As there are just the 3 of us i feel that i have not been able to get to know her and if i try and ask her something or suggest something to do he just says something stupid because he thinks he is being smart and just trying to impress her. He tries to be a kind of interesting wacky guy but i cant help thinking he is a little lacking personality wise deep down.

Furthermore he irritates me because he uses my stuff like my oil, salt and toilet paper! I know this are trivial things but they cost money as a student! I bought loads of toilet paper in bulk beforehand and he saw that, and i think he thought i have enough for him to use. I know he uses it because i havent seen any of his. And when the girl moved in with us i noticed my toilet paper going just as fast because he chose to use mine instead of hers. I am not the type to confront people, i guess i should but i know i will have to live with him for at least 6 months now and dont want any bad feeling but i think deep down he knows what he is doing. When we were drunk he told us about when he used to live with other people and they didnt like the way he used their stuff too! And he went into his housemate's room and changed the time on his clock and shaved his eyebrow etc, so it is obvious he has problems with others too. But he paints himself as such an "uber-cool" character it's very annoying. The annoying thing is that the girl likes the same music as him,i like a bit of it but he knows it more in depth.. so he is always trying to impress her with his knowledge etc. Then there is the dishes... he leaves stuff lying in the sink all dirty and doesnt wash them for ages.. so i started washing all of them because i was sick of seeing them... and the girl complimented me. After this he started washing the dishes because he would look good and started doing other stuff like mop the floor and then he would tell me to my face that he had done it.. to make me feel guilty!! Oh the irony!

Sorry for the long post! But i need to get it off my chest! There are more important things in the world but sometimes i guess we all feel like we are in a bubble which we cannot escape from and it becomes suffocating! I am at uni and all i want to do is finish my course to a high standard and get on well with people but sometimes we come across people who we dont click with or are just simply strange. I have only been her for about a month and have thought of leaving but i would feel a failure and i like this girl because i feel we both would like to get to know each other but everytime shes asks me a question he has to be a smart a***. I know the world would be boring if we were all the same but i feel we should all make an effort to be more empathic, is that too much to ask? Please give me your opinion on this.... i would be EXTREMELY grateful. Thank you.
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Re: Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby earthchild » Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:02 am

Hi Happiness will come
(Like your user name by the way!)
i suspect that in time this girl will see this bloke for who he really is and eventually she will reach the point where he is annoying her just as much...
i would if i were you just play the waiting game and let the foreseeable fate unravell...
in the meantime why dont you suggest having a Girly night in with your flatmate and say that you havent really had time to get to know her, i would love to see how your other flatmate wriggles himself into joining your girly night! :lol:
The Truth
Truth is a sweet nectar from an honest fruitful heart,
from the fruit come seeds and
from the seeds you have a harvest full of dreams.

(native american proverb)
earthchild
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:00 pm

Re: Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:51 pm

I think thats a good suggestion but make it a girly noght out so he can't intrude
Al;so what about getting that 4th housemate then you won't feel so left out
You really should confront hi about the toilet paper etc. perhaps just start off by saying "you need to get some toilet paper please as i notice you have been using mine for a few months now, oh and some salt and oil too whilst I think about it." Do it in front of the girl, exploit the fact he won't want to look bad infront of her
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby everloney » Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:45 pm

Ummm guys i think the poster is a dude, so a girly night may not work.... If i was you poster i would be alittle anal with your toliet paper. I used to have a similar problem at uni. Dont leave the toliet paper in the toliet just take it in with you when you go in, keep it in your room. If your room doesn't have a lock, either ask the landlord to put one on or ask to put one on yourself, you have the right as you are living in a shared house. As for salt, salts cheap and takes a while to use up, let that one go, as for the other things like oil... either lock in your room or again ask about getting a lock on one of the cubboards and then lock your stuff in your cuboard. as for the girl... do you like the girl? you said hes making it like a competition, for her affection? If you don't like her or even if you do, i agree with the others, wait this one out, this stuff always comes out.... and it comes out much faster when you live together...

Good luck to you happiness will come, i know what its like sharing at uni.
everloney
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 259
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:52 pm

Re: Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby happiness will come » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:54 am

Hi Guys! Sorry for the late reply, yes i am indeed a guy... so i cant have a "girly" night in, but i really do appreciate the effort you have made to comment. To be honest, i do quite like her, and maybe that was the reason which sparked the thought about him making things a claustrophobic when he is around us. He seems eager to impress and so always seems to want to show her things he likes... like videos and music etc.

Actually the night after this all happened, i had a word with her in the morning away from him (because most of the time, he is around her). I told her that i felt it was hard to get to know her properly because whenever he is around he likes to over talk and force opinions on things... and so we never fully converse on things we would like to. She mentioned that as she is a tad shy, like me, we're unable to fully interact when he is around. I did not suggest anything but it would be nice to go out and get to know each other better. The thing is i find it hard to tell if a girl really likes me, she said i was a nice guy but i just cant tell if she likes me... she has so many guys who go up to her on nights out so i do not want her to think i am just another randy guy etc etc. I feel i'd like to treat her nicely, the way she deserves.

Tonight, the guy went out fortunately,so the girl and i watched a film in my room... it was good to do something on our own together and it felt much more down to earth than when the 3 of us are together, i think she could tell this too. She went to bed and then the guy came home and had a chat with her and put on the tv in the lounge, i could hear him laughing loudly and the volume was quite loud ... and the girl has a room next door to the lounge! So that cant have helped his case. To be honest, i do not want a war or anything, i do not want mind games, i feel this has been placed upon me, but i guess you could say we are all masters of our own destiny and that if we want to feel happy then we should not contribute to our problems by adding to them daily with the addition of certain annoyances of daily life.Therefore i am going to try and let things be, and get on with him, but i still get frustrated when i think of things like the always full sink.. and the disappearing toilet paper! It's not the end of the world i guess! I have joined the local gym and went a few times, that has made me feel goood.... i came home glowing today! It's a sanctuary away from the stress of daily life! Take care people x
happiness will come
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 6:40 pm
Location: England

Re: Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:40 pm

Just be yourself and i think it will soon become obvious if things are likely to develop
Best not to push it anyway as you would have to end up living with her if you got it all wrong
I love the idea of taking the toilet paper in only when you go to the loo :lol: petty maybe but it will make a good point
Make an effort to arrange another night together with just the two of you. Try to find out things she liske so you can ask her somewhere particular like a museum, certain film etc.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: Annoying Housemate... i feel like i am going crazy...

Postby earthchild » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:07 pm

am so sorry, i dont know why i thought you were a girl, think it was just a sub-concious thought that i never questioned.
The Truth
Truth is a sweet nectar from an honest fruitful heart,
from the fruit come seeds and
from the seeds you have a harvest full of dreams.

(native american proverb)
earthchild
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:00 pm


Return to And the rest...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron