Nuisance Letters

[Amethyst]

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend over 2 years ago on bad terms as he was a serial cheater. (He was 23 when we broke up, he is 25 now.) He trawled the internet for casual sex, left me stranded alone in his city because he was taking two 16 year olds for coffee, led a girl from work on then only after sex did he tell her he had a girlfriend, the list goes on...

A couple of months after he broke up with me he wrote me a letter and from that day on he has sent me a letter or card and presents for my birthday and christmas each year. Obviously, he doesn't send them enough for it to be considered harrassment but it is still upsetting and annoying. He once sent me a vodoo doll :S Sometimes in his letters he seems to know things about me he shouldn't, like about my new boyfriend, and he also told me I looked hot in my new facebook picture which was creepy. I have blocked him on every social networking site possible but he still seems to get this info.

Most recently he has tracked down my new address, which is strange as it is not registered on the electoral roll, etc. I thought I had erased all mutal friends from my life but it seems that there may still be someone there who is giving out my details? How would he have got my address, if only family, work and university have it and there is no trace of it online? Also, is there anything I can do to make him stop?

[snail]

Well, remember that his saying about your Facebook picture and things like that could just be a shot in the dark - you were almost bound to have a new one at the time, as most people change them often. Have a good look at your privacy settings on the site just in case.

He may have tracked you down using a professional people-finder, if he was willing to pay (I looked into these when my ex disappeared with a large sum of my money).

Do you have his address? Write to him, and tell him that you do not wish him to contact you in any way ever again. The next time he does, go to the police and make a complaint. If someone continues to contact you after you have asked them not to, that IS harrassment, and the police will act.

It might be worth reporting him for stalking too, if you are sure he knows things about you that he shouldn't.

[Bel Bel]

Keep a diary of everyhting and copies of any letters you send
Suggest as Snail said write a letter telling him to stop all cimmunication or you will go to the police

[Amethyst]

Well, I recently recieved a text from him wishing me a happy birthday. I told him I didn't appreciate him hassling me and he replied that he still loved me. I told him I don't feel the same and could he please respect my wishes and leave me alone. He said that he would continue to contact me until I begin calling him and being nice to him again. He then sent me another card in the post a couple of weeks later and another text.

I really don't know what to do. People say I should ignore him? Or should I talk to him again and reinforce that I want to be left alone? Will he ever listen?!!

[snail]

Have no more contact with him directly - it's all fuel to his fire, so don't respond to any more texts or calls, as it will just encourage him. Go to your local police station, and say you want to report an ex-boyfriend for harassment/stalking. Bel's idea of a diary is good too.