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Cross dressing

Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:22 am
by Mum2two
Do you feel it is the right thing to do to allow a 15 year old boy to dress in girls clothing in the security of his own house or would you put your foot down and try to stamp the behaviour out?
There has been a history of this kind of thing most of his life and numerous attempts to convince him to stop have failed.
Now he is older it just seems diffrent.
Should i refuse to allow this, turn a blind eye or try to get to know this side of him?

Re: Cross dressing

Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 9:46 am
by ILoveChristmas
I think this is something that will divide opinion, but my feeling is you'll only create problems for you and, more importantly, for your son in the longer term if you're not supportive of him. Being supportive doesn't have to mean approving of his cross-dressing, but it does mean you need to take the time to understand his feelings and why he wants to do it.

There could be a number of reasons for him cross-dressing, for example, is he struggling with his identity as an adolescent boy and thinks this represents one method of defining his own alter-identity? Or, is he struggling with his sex and identifies more closely with himself as a female? Or, does he simply think it's a bit of fun?

These are the kinds of questions that need answered and you'll only be able to do it by understanding his position through communication.

Attempting to stomp the behaviour out will not work. If it's anything other than a bit of fun to him it's not a behaviour at all, but a life choice he's making.

Re: Cross dressing

Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 9:48 am
by snail
I strongly agree - I think you should try to get to know this side of him, although that may of course be difficult for you. I very much doubt you could stamp it out even if you tried everything; it sounds like it is a part of who he is. Now that he is 15 he is getting to the age where he can decide for himself who he wants to be, so I actually think you should interfere less than when he was younger, not more. I hope it works out happily for you both.