Pushing the boundaries

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Pushing the boundaries

Postby MrPresident » Wed Aug 08, 2012 2:13 pm

Our ten-year-old is lovely, but for some time now has been trying to see how far he can push us. I know it's natural for kids (in fact, he has always been doing this to some extent!), but it's getting difficult. We accept that we can give ground on certain issues ('lose a battle to win the war'), but, as adolescence approaches, are we heading for constant warfare?

The problem is disobedience (sometimes very cunningly deployed). We are still successfully threatening him with removal of a toy or privilege, and the 1-2-3 threat usually works at 1, but we are needing to do it more often now, so it will eventually lose effect. He ignores us - or agrees to do what is asked, but doesn't do it. When put under pressure to comply, his tantrums are more noticeable, although, mercifully, they are usually short-lived and can often be headed off especially with humour. Do we accept that this is all part of growing up (and be grateful that our son is doing what he's "supposed" to do)?
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Re: Pushing the boundaries

Postby rufio89 » Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:25 pm

I think yes, you should just accept that it's part of growing up. He doesnt sound like he's too much trouble, so obviously if your current tactics stop working, youll need to come up with new ones but while it's working I wouldnt worry! Just wait until he's a teenager!
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Re: Pushing the boundaries

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Aug 10, 2012 4:05 pm

If he wasn't doing this I'd say he wasn't normal

All you have to do is keep reviewing what the consequences of him misbehaving are. If he is attached to his phone that's what he will lose for x hours if he plays up, if it's his x box it gets unplugged etc. Kids soon learn to toe the line when their favorite item is taken away

If you still feel you are struggling then talk to your doctor about any local parenting courses you can attend or invest in a good book about teenage behaviour
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