My grown up son's girl friend won't meet me

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My grown up son's girl friend won't meet me

Postby suttysue » Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:28 pm

My son is 28 and has got his first serious girl friend. He has been seeing her for about three months.

I am concerned because during that time, even though there have been several occasions when she could meet his friends and myself she has made excuses. She has only met one of his friends and that was when he just turned up when he knew she was there.

I have brought him up on my own although I am now married, and also he has been quite ill in the past years - sounds strange but he gets VERY severe eczema and has been hospitalised. So he has had a bad year but is now loads better. I really think that she is good for him and they go out on nice walks at the weekends and spend quite a lot of time together,

He keeps saying she will meet me but it doesn't happen. I don't want to put her off him by interfering but I do want to meet her and all the excuses, meeting his friends too make me wonder about her. I am tempted ro do what his friend did and just turn up without warning but am not sure if it is the right thing. Any ideas?
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Re: My grown up son's girl friend won't meet me

Postby snail » Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:15 pm

I think you're worrying unnecessarily. 3 months is very early days - this girl and your son are still getting to know each other. You don't introduce a partner to your parents until you're seriously considering being together permanently, and you don't usually introduce them to your friends until you've been seeing each other a while. There's no point getting to know a set of people you may never see again if the relationship doesn't work out. I wouldn't even consider meeting a boyfriend's mother until I had been seeing him for at least a year or we got engaged, and I probably wouldn't meet his friends until we'd been seeing each other successfully for about 6 months. Most relationships of 3 months do not make it all the way - this girl is probably just being practical.
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Re: My grown up son's girl friend won't meet me

Postby suttysue » Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:27 pm

Thanks - that's really helpful. I never let my parents meet anyone either but my son and I are closer really - but you're right - I will let it go.
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