Child abuse? Advice needed

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Herby
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Child abuse? Advice needed

Post by Herby » Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:24 pm

I’ve got a problem with my daughter’s a friend and not sure what to do, especially after the baby P case where everyone seem to turn their backs on the poor child.

Basically, my daughter’s friend is 11 years old and hates her mother.

The mother always has a different boyfriend which her daughter understandably hates – especially as her mother lets them move in with her straight away. She’s told me that her mum calls her a witch and has said she hates her and wishes she never had her. The poor girl constantly turns up at my door crying saying she’s going to kill herself or run away. She also tells me that her 6 year old brother has tried to kill her mother with a knife before as he too hates her so much. I have spoken to other parents regarding her brother and they tell me he’s a very sad little boy who is often last to be picked up as his mother often ‘forgets’ to pick him from school.

My daughter says her friend has been moved down groups at school and that she no longer talks to friends and instead sits on her own looking miserable all the time.

I went to pick the girl up from her house the other day and heard her mother swearing (very badly) to her and calling her names. I then heard her slap the girl round the face and told her she wish she was dead. Not something a mother should be saying to her child.

My dilemma is should I be reporting this situation on to social services? I would hate myself if this little girl did take her own life and I did nothing. At the same time though, I wonder if the social services will think this is a serious enough problem. I’m also concerned as the mother works with children and so worried they won’t take it serious as she’s had no complaints from parents whose children she looks after (it’s obvious she just hates her own children).

However something is telling me to act before it’s too late.

I’d welcome anyone’s thoughts on this subject.

Thanks.

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dipsydoodlenoodle
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Re: Child abuse? Advice needed

Post by dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:59 am

Could you not contact them and ask advice about it, if they seem interested then tell them more?

If she's so unhappy she's going to grow up unhappy and she may act the same when she has her own kids. She doesn't deserve it; give them a call and ask for advice. Could you not offer to look after them for a week or so to see if they improve in their mood, or if they are just naturally sad children. Do you know if there is any option about them going to live with their dad or other faimly members?

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Re: Child abuse? Advice needed

Post by snail » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:01 am

I think you should report it and let Social Services decide what to do next. It certainly sounds serious enough to report to me.
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Re: Child abuse? Advice needed

Post by rufio89 » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:35 am

Sadly it probably isnt serious enough for social services to get involved. Obviously they SHOULD, but I'm just saying it's probably not severe enough in their eyes to step in.

However, if I were you I'd report it, and at the very least they are likely to investigate the situation and perhaps offer the 2 children some support?

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Re: Child abuse? Advice needed

Post by Bel Bel » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:13 pm

i would definately report it and at least the mother will know people are checking on her and this will maybe curb her behaviour if nothing else
also you only know what you have witnessed and there could be far ore going on you dpon't know about
don't let the mishandling of bby p put you off not all authorities are that bad and most will be on their toes at the moment in the wake of the media glare
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dipsydoodlenoodle
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Re: Child abuse? Advice needed

Post by dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:06 pm

In regards to what I and others have said above, report it. Yes it may not be serious enough for them to step in...BUT what if other people have phoned up and they need a record of 3 people contacting them about this "not so serious issue".

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