PLEASE HELP!

For problems with your children, of any age...
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter
Post Reply
L4uraa
Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:58 pm

PLEASE HELP!

Post by L4uraa » Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:04 pm

Ok im a little nervouse putting this on here im not sure what reaction il get. K im 15 now and im getting massive urges to have a baby iv bin with my 17 yr old boyfriend since i was 13 and we love each other he knows how i feel and he feels the same way. Id love to have some addvice and could my boyfriend get put in prison if i became pregnant.

Please comment [=
Xxx
Laura

HappyGoLucky
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
Posts: 816
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:53 pm
Gender: Female
Location: On planet Earth.

Post by HappyGoLucky » Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:39 am

I don't know if he could be put in prison but you're underage to have sex yet and he's not. You do realise he'd be breaking the law if he did have sex with you. I know you don't want to hear this but you're still too young and both of you are still at school. Lots of teenagers get pregnant early and regret it. Looking after a baby is not as easy as it seems.
Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!

sunshine girl
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 12:15 pm

Post by sunshine girl » Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:15 am

It's very unlikely that they would put your boyfriend in prison as you are so close in age and the sex would be consensual. Having said that I can't stress to you how strongly I think that having a baby at this point in your life would be a massive mistake.

If they don't sleep, you don't sleep so it is quite likely you will be exhausted all of the time, you won't even be able to have a shower without worrying what the baby is up to. Your body will change and you could put on weight and get stretch marks, you won't be able to spend the time on yourself that you do now which can have a massive impact on your self esteem.

People who have been in relationships for much longer than 2 years have broken up over the strain of a new baby. It is possibly the most difficult job in the world. Why would you want to consider doing this before you have even finished school???

There are so many other great things out there for you to do first, get a great job, be sucessful as an individual, travel, go clubbing every Friday night (and Saturday too if you want to), go out to dinner, go skiing, stay up all night just because you wanted to then stay in bed all the next day, spend all your extra money on a handbag yo don't really need, a baby would stop all these things.

You have at least 20 years to have children, there is no rush so don't jump in with both feet now only to regret it later.

Plus you have to remember that this baby is a living, breathing person who deserves to have parents who are in a position to care for it properly, I doubt that you are in a position to do that at 15, it would be selfish to have a baby without the means to care for it. Please think about this again, I truly believe it would be a very big mistake.

If you love children and want to care for them why not qualify as a nanny or nursery nurse? I nannied my way through university (and am currently an au pair in Australia looking after a 10 month old and a two year old, incidentally the 10 month old was up at 4.30am this morning) and it's has taught me that I am nowhere near ready, and I'm 25.

User avatar
lidopig
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
Posts: 289
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:48 am
Gender: Male
Location: Dorset

Post by lidopig » Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:31 am

=D> I agree 100% with sunshine girl! =D>

User avatar
snail
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 4489
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:59 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.

Post by snail » Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:59 am

Me too! Sunshine Girl is totally right. Do NOT try to become pregnant at the moment.

I think this urge to have a baby will certainly pass as you move on with your life. Since, as Sunshine Girl said, you have another 30 years to make this decision, why not decide that you will think about it again in a year, and see how you feel. I can almost guarantee by then you will be able to see it would have been a mistake.

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Hertfordshire

Post by Bel Bel » Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:57 am

I had a daughter at 20 and she is now 16 and I am still mentally scared from the whole experience. (love my daughter to bits but won't be having any more)
Babies completely take over your life. They cry, poo, eat and don't sleep to start with. You are completetly tied and cannot leave the house without packing a bag with nappies, milk, juice, baby wipes, change of clothes. Sound simply eopugh but always seems to take forever.
Having a baby is a huge drain on you financially and it isn't fair to bring a child into the world if you can't provide it with a decent home and security. Children have enough issues to deal with in todays world without having a poor homelife to add to it.
I assume you still live at home so have you thought about the effect this will have on your parents?
A good parent makes sure they have fulfilled themselves and has a wealth of knowledge to help them bring up a child. At 15 you have experienced next to nothing in life.
My daughters dad begged me to have my duaghter (pregnant by accident)but once she arrived he couldn't hanle the realities and I got left to do it all on my own.
Please DON't do this now.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK


moving2spain
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
Posts: 61
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:31 pm

Post by moving2spain » Mon Apr 14, 2008 1:56 pm

i am 24 and have 2 yr old twins, we will not be having anymore children as we have found it extremely difficult on our relationship, we have nearly split up lots of times. i think you need to live your life before you have children, and experience each other as a couple living on your own, being financially independant is important too as otherwise you are choosing to have a child on tax payers money or relying on your parents. (you are both very young)i thought i had lived my life but there is things both me and my partner have wished we could do but can't now, we cant even afford to get married and won't be able to for a while. our childen are amazing and i wouldnt give them up for the world but i seriously advise that you wait until you are an adult yourself. i dont want to seem patronising but it just seems like such a waste of a young life. get a career behind yourself then when you do have children and your child is old enough you can drop back into a job! please make the right decision! oh and your body is never the same!!!!

User avatar
peecee
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 5830
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:24 am
Gender: Female
Location: hard to say

Post by peecee » Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:08 pm

Also, have a look at Broody 14 year old

Maternal urges at a young age are more common than you'd think. It doesn't mean you HAVE to have a baby immediately, though. :) I agree with Sunshine girl about getting a job as a trainee nanny, babysitting or something like that. I was an au pair for 4 kids when I was younger, these days I'm more than happy with my 2 goldfish...




Although I'm sure that in a week or two, I'm going to be a granny to 50,000 babbies. At least I didn't have to have them myself :o :rofl:
Shine your light and let the whole world see.

WH
Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:34 pm

Post by WH » Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:04 pm

not sure if he would go in prison but he would def be put on a sex offenders register as you are under age.

Enjoy life, live yourself first, you have loads of time to have children

User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:24 pm
Gender: Female
Location: England

Post by dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 14, 2008 9:08 am

I know this is an old post, my bf's sister had her baby yesterday, she was in labour for almost 24 hours (babies can take a lot longer), she's 19. She works in a clothes shop and lives with her mam and dad, I am very happy for her don't get me wrong. But as the previous posts say she doesn't have a huge career/savings behind her, she doesn't have her own home. Me and my bf went to Paris earlier in the year and she can't do the likes of that now, it's unfair to take a toddler somewhere like that. You can't go to the pub for a couple of hours or go for a meal with friends because you fancy it. One of my other friends has recently had a baby and we are having a reunion shortly, I mean what can we do with a baby, we can't really spend the day shopping, we can't go to the cinema - neither would you if you had a baby, plus it is unfair to ask someone else to look after it, because you fancy a trip to the cinema.

Post Reply