My mother...

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Familiar Face
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My mother...

Post by whoopsie » Sun Jan 11, 2015 5:08 pm

Hi everyone

Nice to still see some old faces (names) on here. I haven't been on for a really long time but I could really use some advice and support.

A brief reminder
Started seeing my husband in 2008, he has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 10. We got married in 2010 and had a son together in 2011. Previously I have been on here needing advice on our relationship. It has never been easy. Trouble with him, trouble with his daughter.

I left him in September. He was always a big drinker and it became a daily occurrence. He also became financially controlling and emotionally abusive. I wanted to leave for about a year before I actually did and it was only when the health visitor got social services involved because of his drinking, that I found my window to leave.
I've been staying with my mum ever since in her spare room on an air bed. I'm on the housing register waiting for a property for me and my son.

In between Christmas and New year, me and my mum had a huge falling out so I went to stay at my ex's house for a few days. On new years eve, my mum told me that I wasn't allowed to go back. The reason we fell out is because my son was having a tantrum at 7am and in her eyes, I didn't deal with him appropriately. She screamed at him. He's only 3.
Anyway, I spoke to my mum and she apologised but went on in detail about all the things that I did and do wrong. She said I could go back but would have to make some changes.
Earlier this week, my ex said he wanted me to move back. I agreed because my son is happier here and he starts nursery tomorrow and my ex's house is just round the corner from the school. If I'm totally honest, I didn't think it would work but was willing to at least give it a go.
Less than 12 hours later, my ex has changed his mind and I've had to beg my mum to let me come back. She's now set loads of rules and conditions and said if I go back to my ex husband again, then I can't go back there. She suffers from fibromyagia and says that me being there is making her ill and putting her life on hold. I don't want to live there, I want my own place. Whilst I appreciate that she's ill and it's difficult with me being there, it's not exactly a bed of roses for me. I have no home. No where that I can call my own. I left my husband after treading on egg shells for years, and now I'm doing the same at my mums. I'm in limbo.

I feel like I have no one to turn to.

One of the Crowd
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Re: My mother...

Post by Tucco » Fri Jan 16, 2015 6:29 pm

Hi Whoopsie,
wow it looks as though things are tough for you right now, BUT I think you have done the right thing, my advice would be to do all you can to keep the peace at your Mothers and get a place for you and your son as soon as you possibly can.
Being in a home with an abusive alcoholic is no place for either you or a 3 year old.
I hope things work out for you quickly, perhaps someone better informed than me could suggest a support service for someone in your situation.
Good luck.

Just Landed
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Re: My mother...

Post by MrsH » Wed Jan 21, 2015 10:01 am


What if you claimed homelessness to the council? This would mean they have to accommodate you. I know initially it would be in a B&B and probably not the nicest one but it would push you up the council list and make you more of a priority.

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