Dad looking at gay porn

For problems with parents, whatever your age...

Dad looking at gay porn

Postby Breevandycamp » Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:17 pm

Not sure what to do here or to just mind my own business but I've known for a few years that my dad looks at gay porn sites late at night at weekends and usually after drinking, he drinks a lot at weekends. He has left the computer on by mistake and I've seen it on the history. My younger sister has also found this out, we have never said anything and tried to alert my mother to it but think she may have known were not sure and prob never will as she passed away last year, I also used to hear him on his phone again quite drunk to I can only presume other men, this is what made me say things to my mother but she seemed to dismiss it, I didn't just come out with it but would say dads in the phone and it sounds a bit dodgy or dad was on the Internet last night and his credit card was there this morning, nothing was ever brought out in the open. He has now started going on holidays on his own he started going in jan and we thought it was good he was getting on with things and the break would do him good, he has gone in another 3 all before my mothers first anniversary, also my sisters boyfriend was looking up something the other day and came across the history and found all the websites he has been looking at, all teenage or young boys not children but adolescents and boys going through puberty, this I found very disturbing and the fact someone outside of the family now knows as my sister told him. I don't know whether I should say something as its none if my business but the while thing does upset me, equally so if he was seeing another women so soon after or looking up young girls but again the content alone if teenage boys or girls is upsetting to think of your dad looking at that. Any advice would be appreciated
Breevandycamp
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:43 pm

Re: Dad looking at gay porn

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:12 pm

It is against the law to possess photos of someone underage
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_porn ... ed_Kingdom

However even if you tell the police it won't necessarily stop the behaviour just make your dad better at hiding the information.

If you do decide to expose him to the police he may get prosecuted and then at least he would be put on a sex offenders register which may serve to protect others.

This will have a massive effect on you and your siblings lives too but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

There are some organisations listed on this leaflet who may be able to help you better
http://www.ccpas.co.uk/Documents/Help%2 ... fender.pdf
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: Dad looking at gay porn

Postby Breevandycamp » Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:43 pm

I'm not sure if they are underage though or what constitutes underage they are images of 17 plus as far as I can see rather then children, but I'm not sure where the law lies with that
Breevandycamp
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:43 pm

Re: Dad looking at gay porn

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:29 am

Anyone under 18 is considered a child.
If you are thinking of contacting the police you could tell them you believe they may be underage. It would then be up to them to confirm.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: Dad looking at gay porn

Postby Happyandhopeful » Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:23 am

I just had to reply as I was in the situation where my husband looked a lot at gay porn, rang gay chat lines and joined dating sites looking for he said his first gay experience, however I do not know if he followed this through. I ended up leaving him 3 months ago after being together for 22 years, I couldn't take it any more as he always said he didn't know why he did it and it wouldn't happen again.

Can I ask how old you are and at what age you found out? Was your mum ill for a while and that was why she stayed or maybe she accepted it? How do you feel about it all? Maybe you want to protect your dad from anyone else finding out I which case I would be tempted to tell him what you know and that he has to be careful with his computer history.

I do worry about my 14 year old as he decided to stay with his dad and he hasn't got a clue about his dad, somehow I can't bring myself to tell him and would it help the situation anyway.

But I think you must decide how you feel about your dad and after all does it matter if he turns out to be gay?
User avatar
Happyandhopeful
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Dad looking at gay porn

Postby Breevandycamp » Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:12 pm

Hi I'm an adult in my 30's I no longer live at home, my mother was I'll for 2 years but I've known about this for about 5 years, I've no idea whether she did know or not or turned a blind eye to it or accepted it, I would not have a problem if he was gay, my sisters boyfriend came across the history but she and the boyfriend are moving out so it will just be him at home now, I suppose he is going no harm but just felt a bit freaked out at first but would have been equally freaked out if he was looking at women, just weird to think if your parent looking at that but I suppose it would be for them if it was the other way around, and it maybe an issue of my mother was still here but again maybe none if my business. It's different being the partner if the person looking this up and I would feel different if I found my current partner looking this up and would probably have to have a serious think about continuing the relationship if they were with me to make themselves feel 'normal' whilst secretly wanting to be with another man and not facing up to their true feelings not fair on either party
Breevandycamp
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:43 pm


Return to Parents

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron