My boyfriend and my Dad

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My boyfriend and my Dad

Postby highlandcow » Tue Nov 15, 2011 2:11 pm

Hello all,

OK basically, I've just been noticing recently that my Dad doesn't seem to approve of my boyfriend. I always thought that he did but just recently I've been picking up on subtle signs. My boyfriend is 5 years younger than me, and used to have mild AS (Asperger Syndrome) but has made huge steps overcoming it. There are still situations that he finds challenging (like knowing how to behave in situations that he has not experienced before, like, meeting his girlfriend's father), but you'd never know he suffered with this. I didn't guess myself until he told me! My Dad is a lovely, compassionate man who knows about this and has been supportive.

I had surgery last week which meant I needed to spend a night in hospital. My Dad is a doctor so he paid for the surgery to be done privately. He was working at the time so my boyfriend took me to the hospital, waiting 6 hours for me to be admitted for surgery, ran some errands while I was under, had coffee with my Mum to keep her company, then came back so he was there when I came round. He brought flowers, and stayed in the hospital until about 11pm then came back the following day to take me home. I'm staying with Dad and his wife while I recover, but when my boyfriend brought me home, they basically said to him "we can manage without you, we know how to take care of her!" This hurt him, obviously and although I was off my head on Tramadol, it hurt me too. I don't understand what he could have done to get that sort of reaction.

In a week I'll go back to the hospital to get my stitches out, and I know that both my Dad and his wife with be working. I told them that my boyfriend could take me in to help me, but apparently they would be happier if I went by myself in a taxi. I know I wouldn't be happier in a taxi! ](*,)

My boyfriend wants to take me out for the day in the car, just to the beach and out for a meal with my best friends (which he organised while I was in a Tramadol haze) on Saturday. Nothing strenuous, I just need to get out, as I haven't been out of the house since last Tuesday when I came out of hospital. But my Dad and stepmum basically said no way. My stepmum in particular seemed to have the bigger problem with this.

So I guess my problem is....what the hell?! I'm not sure what the problem is! I know that Dad has never liked my other boyfriends, but typically I've only found out about this until after the relationship ended. :roll:
But I've been with Mr HC for over 2 years and he treats me better than I've been treated before. I just don't get it! I'm 25, and while I appreciate my Dad paying for the surgery, I'm feeling a bit cross with all this.

Does anyone have any thoughts? :D
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Re: My boyfriend and my Dad

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Nov 15, 2011 2:18 pm

It's hard to knwo. Maybe a mutual person has said somehting bad, they checked his criminal record. It's anyones guess but I think you should sit calmly and talk to them. Tell them you have picked up on the vibes, site the examples here and tell them you are very happy with this guy and would like it if they would too.
I think if you put it like this they will have to fess up or shut up.

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Re: My boyfriend and my Dad

Postby Ticktock » Tue Nov 15, 2011 4:58 pm

Following on from what Bel Bel said it is probably your dad is being a very bad boy and accessing their medical records, he will have easy access, and your boyfriends aspergers will have left your stepmum with images of autistic grandchildren.

Aside from your dad being prosecuted if any of your former boyfriends had caught on to this, he needs serious slapping down. Which is unfortunate as you are in the unenviable position of owing him something for the surgery.

Aside from that I agree with Bel Bel's position, they put up or shut up...
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Re: My boyfriend and my Dad

Postby highlandcow » Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:36 pm

Ticktock wrote:probably your dad is being a very bad boy and accessing their medical records, he will have easy access, and your boyfriends aspergers will have left your stepmum with images of autistic grandchildren.


Oh dear, oh dear. That's not a nice thought. Although I really can't imagine that's true. My boyfriend's medical records are in a different county as he's not from this area and he's at Uni in England, so his records would be there. I'm not sure he'd even have access to them. Plus it's more than his job's worth.

My stepmum is a counsellor, so I'm not sure she'd have visions of Rainman in her head (well I hope not anyway!) It's only mild AS anyway.

I think you're right in that I'll have to have a wee chat with them though and see if I can get to the bottom of this....
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
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