mentally ill dad

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mentally ill dad

Postby brfc » Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:14 pm

After my dads sister died he became mentally deppressed. I live 3 hours away from him as i couldnt live with him. he,s very controling and likes it his way or no way. Last year i met a lady who is now my fiancee. I arranged for my parents too meet her and her mum and dad and they seemed too get on well.

2 days later i got a string of nasty e-mails from him saying i was overweight ,my fiancee was overweight, and she was just like my ex and she was only using me. That was 2 months ago last time i heard from him. ive now cut all contact with him as i couldnt put up with him having a go yet again at me and now my fiancee for no reason.

With xmas coming half of me feels like making contact but i know nothing will have changed with my dad and im not putting up with him treating me this way.

Its always been me going back too my parents but now i feel like letting them come too me as ive done nothing but make myself and my 4 year old son happy. nothing wrong at all.

all i get from friends is they are your parents but it doesnt excuse them from being nasty this way too me.

thought i get your opinions

cheers

brfc
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Re: mentally ill dad

Postby snail » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:41 pm

Well it's your decision really, BRFC. It's about what you feel is best for you and your son - that may or may not be no contact. If you're genuinely happier with no contact and are doing it to protect yourself (rather than to punish your parents in some way) then I think that's fine.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: mentally ill dad

Postby Ticktock » Mon Oct 31, 2011 8:57 pm

Snail is right, it is your decision, while I appreciate your friends opinions none of us can judge what it is like to live with someone like your father. You have to choose the route that will keep yourself and your child happiest.

Send your parents an early christmas card to remind them you are still there, place the ball in their court for contacting you. If they don't it is their loss, and if they do just make sure you limit the exposure, just make it an afternoon and keep it focused around the kid and the presents. If they misbehave ask them to leave, it is your home and sometimes it helps to remind parents that we did grow up a while ago...
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Re: mentally ill dad

Postby brfc » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:35 pm

update on this. i posted a card but no reply so just leave it at that. they know were i am if they want too contact me. thx for the advice
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Re: mentally ill dad

Postby highlandcow » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:12 pm

I think you did the right thing in making a move towards reconciliation BRFC. You've done nothing to provoke this behaviour just remember that and focus on having a lovely Xmas with your family.
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

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Re: mentally ill dad

Postby brfc » Fri Aug 03, 2012 2:00 pm

Just a quick update on this. Ive made up with my family now and they came to our wedding. They now seem to be accepting my wife now and making amends for everything thats gone on so all good on this front. :D
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Re: mentally ill dad

Postby highlandcow » Fri Aug 03, 2012 4:29 pm

That's good news! :)
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

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