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PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 4:24 am
by lovefool

Re: In laws blame me for partners violence

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:37 am
by Ticktock
Why do you put up with a man who lies about you and breaks your things to hurt you? I just ask that because although his mother does sound evil, and believe me I have done evil mother in laws, I only put up with it because my partner was 20 times the person her mother was.

I would be a tiny bit dubious about your partners claim about his dad's violence, what he does is his own decision, and by the sound of it he is as motivated by spite as his mother is.

Start off by changing your mobile she obviously sees this as a way of venting her resentment at you stealing her son, bet he is an only child...

Then have a long think about whether you want to spend the rest of your life being treated like dirt by your in laws and being terrorised by your partner, surely you deserve better than that?

Re: In laws blame me for partners violence

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:00 pm
by lovefool
no he is one of four ! I dont want to be with him at all but i have a house with him and other ties so we have financial things to sort out and so i need to speak to him, she is claiming she is protecting him but i am not sure what he needs protecting from. what he is doing is domestic abuse really despite the fact he dsnt hit me (although he has come close) he constantly criticises me .and smashes things up so were better of splitting up , its just she frustrates me so much bcuz she has nothing to do with at all. its really nothing to do with her ! I just wanted advice on what to say when she texts really because i find them so irratating i would rather ignore them to be fair, i cant be bothered with confict. And hes twenty six so not really sure why his mother has to text me when we argue! Its pretty childish stuff , i just want to be civil but they make rude comments about you so am just going to be the bigger person now and ignore them.

Re: In laws blame me for partners violence

PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:39 pm
by ILoveChristmas
You answered your own question when you asked what you should do. Ignore the mother.

Your mobile operator will be able to black-list her number which will stop any messages or calls reaching your phone. Failing this, most of the modern smart phones can do this internally. Use Google and see if yours can.

I feel she's blaming you for the situation because she won't want to accept that her son is violent and has addiction problems. It's far easier for her to think that there is an external cause for his behaviour, i.e. you, than it is for her to think that her son has some sort of problem that's causing it. In addition to that, she clearly has some sort of issue of her own if she's contacting you in the way she is.

If you're clear in your own mind about how you want to proceed, whether that is to sell the house, transfer it into your own name or whatever, contact him and arrange to meet him alone. That doesn't need to be at his mother's house or even yours. You can prepare what documentation you need and meet somewhere neutral to discuss it.

The sooner you sort things out and remove the need to contact anyone in the family the sooner you can get your own life, health and happiness back on track.