My Problem Dad!!!

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cymru76
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My Problem Dad!!!

Post by cymru76 » Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:44 pm

3 years ago my dad had an affair that tore our family apart. He denied and denied until we eventually found out as a daughter you look up to your dad and believe that he's the perfect man in the world and he just shattered that illuosion I know I sound sad but that's what I thought. Anyway, As I'm the eldest he kept using emotional blackmail against me as well as his mother as they know I'm the weak link in the chain as I always seem to be the human punch bag for everyone in the family especially when it come to my two younger sisters (Well especially the one!) . My mother forgive him in the end as he became a changed man until recently.

He's got the same attitude and none of us have thrown up at him about the affair but there's just a permanat cloud hanging over the house when he's in a mood and he constantly picks at me even though I got two other sisters who get away scott free

Even though I Love christmas I also dread it as he always seems to play up like this year he's off on the sick due to ill health ( he has athritus) the year before he was off sick and the year before that he left due to the affair.
I just feel like going away and being on my own as I've been suffering with depression for the past 3 years and been back and forth a clinic for counselling and I can't handle it anymore I'm working full time and some times I feel like work is my savoiur to be away from him as he just sits there feeling sorry for himself. It annoys me as when I was going through a reall y dark and lonely time ( I tried to end it all) no one wanted to help my apart from my poor mother who has to put up with so much she deserves a medal I just want him to realise that he's tearing us all apart with his constant mood swings and he's not helping himself.

Some advice would be greatfully received as If I speak up I'm accused of being a stirrer so I've decided not to say anything to them anymore and that's why I turned to this for help

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RagDoll
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Re: My Problem Dad!!!

Post by RagDoll » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:21 am

I don't really have much experience of this kind of thing (my parents aren't perfect, but I can't complain), so sorry, I don't really feel able to offer any advice. One thing did strike me though -are you in a position to move out to a place of your own? I know you said you work full-time, so I thought it might be an option. That would probably solve a lot of your problems as you'd be more independent of your parents problems and not have to put up with your Dad's mood swings
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Bel Bel
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Re: My Problem Dad!!!

Post by Bel Bel » Wed Dec 16, 2009 12:35 pm

Your mum must be aware of what your dad is doing but for whatever reason she doesn't wnat to tackle it
Have you talked to her and told her how bad you feel, I assume you have as you said she was the only one to help
If you know things are never going to change then I would do as ragdoll suggests and look at moving out. Perhasp shared accomodation if you can't do it on your own
Living in that environment is not going to help your mood
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