Stuck in the middle.

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whoopsie
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Stuck in the middle.

Post by whoopsie » Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:22 pm

My parents split and divorced around 4 years ago. Both have moved on. Mum remarried and Dad has a partner. My Mum still has hatred towards my Dad. They split mainly because the pub and alcohol were always his priority and he sniffed cocaine occasionally. There are plenty of other reasons as you may expect. My Dad and I don't have the best relationship. He gets on better with my brother and sister and my Mum doesn't like that he treats me different. My Mum and I are really close. She's my best friend. I can talk to her about almost everything.

The problem I am having at the moment is this. My sister is currently in labour at the hospital with her first child. She's having a tough time, but she and the baby are fine. It's all going a bit slow tho. My Mum doesn't want my Dad to know anything until the baby is born. She told me this morning that if i told him anything, then she would never speak to me again. I don't know why she is being like this, because it's my sisters baby and it should be her choice. My brother in law is obviously pre occupied with supporting my sister, she was having a tough time this morning. She's 2 weeks overdue and had to be induced, so he hasn't had time to let my dad know anything, and my Mum won't text my Dad. He hadn't heard anything since 10 this morning. He keeps ringing me and my mum says to ignore his calls. At around 9pm, my dad is ringing me and my bf so i told my brother in law to call him. I accidently answered my dads call while texting so I had to speak to him. I told him i'd heard nothing either, but he knew I was lying. I gave him my brother in laws number. I felt so bad tho. I called him back, told him what I knew so far and also that i had been to the hospital. I told him i was in a very difficult position. He knew that my mum had told me not to say anything. He obviously got really angry, and all i can hear is my mum telling me she'll never speak to me again. I spoke to my mum, and she told me I can tell him what I know. Why couldn't she have said that earlier? If she finds out i had already told him... I can't understand why she wants to keep him in the dark. He is a grand parent too.
It's impossible for me cos she's telling me not to say anything and he's asking me what I know. If i lie to him, i look bad and if i tell him i look bad. I don't know what to do for the best.
This has happened before, when my Nan died. She was his mother in law for 24 years and my mum wouldn't let us tell him. He knew she was ill and kept asking. My sister told him in the end and my mum practically disowned her.
I love my mum to pieces and don't want her to look bad, but i get put in this position everytime something like this comes up and it tears me apart. I don't know what to do for the best. Help me please!
=^..^=

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Skarlet
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Re: Stuck in the middle.

Post by Skarlet » Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:27 pm

Hi Whoopsie,

I think when everything has calmed down, you need to speak to your mum, and tell her she can't keep putting you and your siblings in that awful position. That you won't allow it to happen any more, that although her relationship with your dad has ended, he is still your dad, and your sisters dad, and she isn't being fair to you or your sister and also that she should be more grown up.

Skarlet

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Bel Bel
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Re: Stuck in the middle.

Post by Bel Bel » Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:54 pm

Skarlet is right and if you're mum wants to continue to bahave badly perhaps you should disown her for a couple of weeks so she realises she will be the lose if she continues to act childishly. I bet it would only be a few days until she wanted to make up again
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