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Found my half-sister?

Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2016 2:37 pm
by Charloh
When my mom was pregnant with me, my dad ran off and got another woman pregnant. I have been raised mainly by my mom, as my dad was a heroin user and died when I was 13. I have always known I have had a half sister and did try to look for her a couple of years ago, but with only a first name to go by I didn't get far. My brother told me the other day that he had been speaking to my dads sister and she told him who our sister was, I looked at her Facebook and she looks the spit of me and is only 6 months younger then me. I really want to message her, but she has grown up thinking that another mans her father and I don't want to drop it on her - especially with our dad having died. I've grown up with older brothers and have always wanted a sister, but the situation is causing arguments between me and my mom, she's still hung up about my dad cheating. What should I do? I want a relationship with my sister but is it worth upsetting her and the rest of my family?

Re: Found my half-sister?

Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:27 pm
by David020549
Being curious about long lost relatives is natural, but digging up the past can cause a lot of family disputes because everybody takes sides and the animosity can sat for decades.
You say your mum does not want you to meet her, it will no doubt revive many unpleasant memories for mum, it's best not to upset mum she by all accounts had a hard time over the years, don't rock the boat.

Re: Found my half-sister?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2016 8:31 pm
by fairy of darkness
I can't say I agree with the above post. What happened to them is their own situation and you have a right to know your siblings. The only thing to be careful of is upsetting her family dynamic if she doesn't know. Have you considered reaching out to the man who is her father to ask him if there is any way you could be introduced to her life? It must be a tricky situation and I can really understand your want to meet her,

Re: Found my half-sister?

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:50 am
by stephie2
But is it fair for her not to know who you are too?

I think you should talk to your family about a plan that can be least upsetting to all.