As some of you may have noticed I haven't been posting much recently. The reason is that at the beginning of February my mother, who I have been caring for the last 6 six years, died suddenly. That is an entirely different topic but what happened afterwards is what I am having problems with.
Mum died at home in her sleep so I had to sort out everything (I lived with her along with my daughter), the day afterward my younger brother rang me up and started pestering when her house would go on the market, I was less than polite to him we both got really upset and then apologised and I thought that was an end to it.
Subsequently he was a bit off with me and when I rang round the relatives to inform them of the funeral arrangements they all implied he had phoned them and made allegations about what I was doing in relation to the will.
Now to be clear my mothers will was drafted long before I started caring for her and split things equally between us and she made no secret of it, and we were joint executors, the only advantage I have is that I have a law degree and so could do all the work for free...
Then he tried to employ a solicitor, again implying things to her which I had to rebut when I visited her to find out what was going on.
Then he stopped replying to all emails, despite our best attempts to involve him in the organisation of the funeral, and finally tried to cancel the funeral twice behind our backs without any justification. I was the first person the funeral director had to phone to confirm all arrangements directly...
He didn't come to the funeral or even send flowers and it was clear he had pressured the relatives (my mums brothers and sisters) not to come...
He has subsequently refused to release the will, and we have had to employ a solicitor unnecessarily after I had done the majority of the paperwork so I could avoid future allegations of impropriety.
So the question is what to do, initially I thought this was a mental breakdown, but it has come to light this actually goes back years to when he tried to put my mother in a home behind my back (and believe me that wasn't happening I couldn't even persuade her to use respite care (NOW I know the reason why she was so adamant as she had been told!)), and is pretty much pure spite.
How do you deal with a sibling who has sunk so low?