I Think my little sister is seeing a married man

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I Think my little sister is seeing a married man

Postby emma » Fri Dec 03, 2010 6:34 pm

Hi im 20 years old and my problem is that my little sister who is 17 years old and the married man is 42 years old and he is know to have affairs. My sister does not tell me anything anymore. She goes out at late times them cames back with a smile on her face i want to tell his wife but i dont want to get my sister in trouble please help me :cry:
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Re: I Think my little sister is seeing a married man

Postby snail » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:25 pm

Unfortunately you'll just have to let her learn this lesson for herself. She is certainly being used - or taken advantage of if you prefer that term - but she won't realise this until the time comes for her to. Even if you were able to cut the relationship short she may well blame you, without learning anything from it. I wouldn't interfere unless you have real reason to think her physical safety is at risk.

Otherwise, make your opinions as to why this relationship is a bad idea clearly known to her (this will help her to start making the connections in her own mind) and try to be there for her when it ends.
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Re: I Think my little sister is seeing a married man

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:40 pm

Agree with Snail and would add that if he is known to have affairs the wife may know and choose to turn a blind eye or they may have an arrangment
The messenger always tends to come off worse in these situations so i would keep quiet
Also you don't actually know hey are having an affair from what you wrote so you could destroy a marraige when it isn't even true
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Re: I Think my little sister is seeing a married man

Postby emma » Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:11 pm

ive found out that my sister was having affair with this married man and i want to know have done the right thing by showing his wife the texts on my sisters phone?Which shows they been at it since september they also had sex in his bed whilst his wife was in work my sister is saying she loves him and wants things to carry on.After showing his wife these texts she thanked me for letting her know but he has finished it she is heartbroken now waht shall i do to make things right please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: I Think my little sister is seeing a married man

Postby ILoveChristmas » Wed Jan 05, 2011 10:53 am

I don't see that you have the ability to make things right.

You took the decision to approach the man's wife and now, predictably, all hell has broken loose. The most you can hope for is that your sister comes to the realization that this situation coming to an end is the best thing, but at 17 and with a fair amount of immaturity thrown in, that may be unlikely for a while.

If she is receptive to you talking to her you may be able to explain why you told the man's wife, but whatever you do don't tell her it was because you despise people who have affairs and felt you had a moral obligation to 'out them', and do try hard not to criticise either of them. Base everything around her and why you think it's best for her that things are in the open. I think that's the only way you may get through to her.

There is no doubt that this man has been using your sister, in fact I don't think 'using' is a strong enough description. He is old enough to be her father which makes it rather worrying, but he isn't your concern, no matter what your feelings toward him are. Focus your attention on your sister, take nothing more to do with him or his wife and work towards rebuilding trust and closeness with your sister.
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