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my sister

PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:12 pm
by Beth_232
Hi know I’ve already posted problem but I'm a bit worried:

My 14 year old sister and her friend from next door have recently been hanging out with a bunch of girls who are older then them, they're around 18/19. They're only a few years younger then me! I don't quite understand why these older girls would want to hang out with two 14 yr olds? Or why my sister would want to either, she’s not overly mature for her age so I didn’t think she would have any desire to hang out with anyone older. She always talk about them and goes on about how cool they are but these girls aren't exactly role models. There also seems to be a ring leader. They drink and have cigarettes hanging out of there mouths half the time (not exactly shocking, I know) and they just hang out in our col-de-sac.
I have no idea where or how they met them but what worries me the most is that my sister get lift home from school from these girls where as before she would always ask me. I know, I'm jealous, but I cant help it we're fairly close and I just worry about her safety. The other day I told her that I WAS going to pick her up from school and she told me to get lost. I still went but she wasn’t there.

My mum hasn’t meet these girls yet as she works strange hours as a mid wife but I know she’s spoken to my sisters friends mum and apparently their daughter has been acting that same. Trying to talk to my brother about this is like banging my head against a brick wall ](*,) as he thinks its nothing partly coz he’s 18 and he's at uni.

My sisters attitude has changed towards my mum she’s become more argumentative and moody, my mum grounds her when she gets too rebelious but its doesn’t do much. I have tried talking to her but just she brushes me off and acts like she cant hear me.

She’s also extremely clever but its like she’s got bored of that, I don’t see her going off into her room to do her homework, where as before she would lock herself away in her room until it was done.

I'm doing my over protective older sister mode and I'm keeping a very close eye on all of them but it feels like I should be doing more. Argh sometime I feel like I'm the parent

Re: my sister

PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:57 pm
by Bel Bel
I totally get why you are looking out for her but at the end of the day you aren't her parent and therefore cannot make any rules or give out any punishments.
Talk to your mum and tell her your concerns and let her deal with it.
You could try a different approach with your sister and tell her you miss her and want to pick her up and spend some time with her, she may let you do this a few times a week rather than not at all

Re: my sister

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:02 am
by jadeli89
maybe you just have to talk to her sincerely.. its the least that you could do.. try it.. and maybe she would understand your efforts.. ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

Re: my sister

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 10:35 pm
by Pichu
For me this problem is really serious. Your sister is changing from a nice and serious little sister to someone rebellious who prefers to smoke a cigarette in the street with other girls than to study.
Of course, wa can say that this is linked to her adolescence. But this is not an excuse to let her do what she wants, especially if you think it's bad.
But as said before, you are not her mother.
What I think you should do is to talk to your mother to ask her to take measures. I'm thinking of meeting these girls, do not let your sister leave the house without permission, ...
Try to talk with your mother to find a concrete solution.

Re: my sister

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:51 pm
by Ju.
Hi, I understand why you worry so many about the new relationships of your sister and I think you are right to protect her. However it is also necessary to understand that she must certainly be very happy with her new friends, even if they are 4 years old more than her and you have to respect that. I think that you should speak to these new friends and see what the situation is really. Have they really a fatal influence on your sister? If it’s the case, then you should speak about it to your mother so that she could take a decision. At any rate, I don’t think it is you who have to take measures for your sister because she could take it badly and it would only be the situation worsening.
And as Pichu said, your sister is in a rebellious age, but it’s not a pretext to let her do what she wants. So if you think she has to stop going out with their friends, you should talk with her about that to find a solution.