Lying Sibling

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Lying Sibling

Postby skinnybumblebee » Sun Sep 27, 2009 9:09 pm

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19 years old. The problem is also to do with him and not me but i desperately need help. The problem has been lurking for a while now but came to a head when my boyfriend lost his job at Woolworths for obvious reasons. Since then, his parents have been leaving his 3 siblings (one half brother, half sister, and sister) with him when they want to go out. Because he doesn't have work anymore and only college, they do this to him a lot more frequently. His youngest sister is only 8 years old and the problem is mainly with her. Firstly, she lies compulsively to get my boyfriend (her brother) in trouble. She also fights with her half sister who is 10 and i recently had to bring a VAX round to clear up all the water when the two sisters were fighting and they broke a huge fish tank. But the main problem is her lying. For example when the mum and dad come home, she pretends that my bf strangled and hit her when they were gone. My boyfriend does shout at her because as soon as the parents leave she tries to cause trouble by aggravating him, and he also does give her a light hit to warn her not to do it again, but she exaggerates when the parents come home and he always gets in trouble. The parents know that his youngest sister lies 98% of the time, but still they choose to believe her even though he is 19 and very responsible. His mum has even told me "how dare i speak to her children badly" after i told his youngest sister to stop annoying the dog when she was out. As a result I dislike going round to his house because when we look after the kids they always fight...but as i said the main problem is the youngest sister. How do we get her to stop lying like this? My boyfriend is so depressed he has even cried and he is not the type of person to cry. His college work is also suffering and it hurts me cause he's so bright and he wants to be an architect in the future. Please help :(
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Re: Lying Sibling

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:23 am

Borrow a camcorder and set it up somewhere or a tape recorder and then you can play it back to the parents. Once she knows she can't get away with it hopefully she will stopI assume your b/f is looking for other jobs. Perhpas he needs to tell his parents he needs a set amount of time to look for jobs. Where did the kids used to go before he lost his job?
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Re: Lying Sibling

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:31 pm

The camcorder might be a great idea.
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Re: Lying Sibling

Postby DiZZeeKiD » Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:11 pm

It is a good idea but it only deals with the symptoms, not the cause. Maybe the fact that this young girl is not spending a lot of quality time with her parents who seem to leave her alone alot she resents them and takes out her anger on others. She could also feel jealous over your relationship with her brother.
Remember, a lot of children at this age lie and fight with their siblings and tend to grow out of it but if its affecting your relationship and your boyfriends college then it is more serious. Try talking to the girl privately, or even ask her parents to be there when you and your boyfriend talk to her. They can't expect for your boyfriend, no matter who responsible he is, to put up with her behaviour when he has his own life and education to consider.

Good luck!

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Re: Lying Sibling

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:26 pm

I think your definatley right that the sister wants attention
I wouldn't get involved yourself though the mother has already told you off for telling her kid off (even though you were right)
The problem is if the parents are willing to leav your b/f in charge they probably aren't realising the problem is their lack of quality time and I am not sure they are going to realise it either.
Your b/f just eeds to get them to start beleiving him and back him up if he needs to disipline them, after all they expect him to look after them as an adult and then undermine him when they come home, it's no wonder his sister knows she can play him up and get him in trouble
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