my sister

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my sister

Postby strokesurvior23 » Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:36 am

My sister is 28 with 2 kids she split up from the kids dad a few years ago as he was an idiot
she met another lad who we now know is a recovering alcoholic, although hes been drinking he goes on benders and has done this 3 times that i know off the last time he was not working he stole the kids computer games there was £280 worth of games that were mine that i gave to the kids he aprently got £60 for them to by drink he has hit my sister, she kicked him out as she claimed the kids cum 1st he was gone for about 3 weeks he always was rining her but she always said she hung up, well now there bk together hes been to rehab although hes been 3 times b 4, now hes bk my sisters changed again shes rude ungreatfull selfish and puts him b 4 the kids the kids are 8 and 5 i spend lots of time with them i have them fridays after school tioll about 6:45pm and they stay with me sat night, then there with there dad sun, she doesnt do anything with them, her bf is very possesive if were out for example sat mornings to see my grandad for 2 hours max he rings txts constant, i do alot for her i take her shoping etc etc she does nothng for me im sick of being used but if i dnt take her shoping there wud be no food in the house, my patrents know hes nicked but dnt klnow hes hit her on a fair few occasions, but if they did they wud be like me and have no time for him etc, i also lent him a phone b 4 i knew he was a recobvering alcoholic which i never have had bk if i ask my sister about it she gets aggresive and moody with me and says i shudnt of lent it him, i think because she knows hes lying, he says hes still got it that its in a safe at his m8s car garage, so i rang the other day to ask 4 it as it was a present that was bought for me and to be honest i just wanna prove hes still a liar, i dnt want him to dio anything else to the kids but he said he will get it that its deff down there hes said that over 4 times now, she has had letters from social services to say he shud have no place in the home as wen domestic violence gets reported to the police there automatically alerted, i just dnt get why shes doin it and putting the kids through it, she did report it to the police and i was there for her 100% untill she let him bk and shes reaklly moody with me now etc my mum took the kids out and nought em loads of clothes as quite frankly my sister wud rather spend her money on him and she got really moody said its not her place to do it but my mums sick of the kids in old clothes but she wnt do it , she is quite a needy person although shes adament she aint, sorry 4 long rant but im really fed up with her
just dunno wot too do u cnt talk to her she crys if you do and says the kids cum 1sdt a;ways will before she got with him she said if anyone so much as looked at the kids in the wrong way he wud leave but now look at her
any opions please
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Re: my sister

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:46 am

Unfortunatlely until your sister decides for her self to leave him it won't happen
It is terrible that she is being this way with the kids and that is the thing that is most awful but i don't think having a word will make any difference
reassure her you will be there for her if she changes her mind about him, so that she knows she has a way out
You need to keep the conteact for the kids not for her
Remember when you go shopping it's for the kids
If you tell your parents about him that could backfire too. Is there anyway to let them know without it having to come from you?
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Re: my sister

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:16 pm

I agree with Bel Bel.

Could you maybe not arrange for the kids dad to take them for more than just one day a week, how about you taking them for a bit longer, just to get them out of their home enviroment. I know it shouldn't be up to you to take care of her kids, but unfortunately they can't do anything about it.
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Re: my sister

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:17 pm

You could always be unavailable to take her shopping for a week or two to see if the only reason she doesn't go is because she waits for you to take her. If nothing improves you could always call social services anonymously.
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Re: my sister

Postby strokesurvior23 » Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:23 pm

trust me nothing or noone wil ever stop me seeing the kids i play a massive part in there lifes and i guarentee that no matter what there mum does i will be there 4 em they know that unfortunatley i can do no more i work full time have fridays off spend the time the finish school till there bed time with em but i have started picking up earlier on saturdays so they have a day out somewhere i do something with them every week they stay with me every sat so we have an evening totally about then i dnt do it cos i feel i have to i want to i know shes selfish and a bad mother, its a hard thing to say about your own sis but its the truth, the kids and i are really close and nothing will stop that when were out etc people assum im there mum thats how good our relationship is. My mum says when they are older they will see that most of the good memories they have are with me not with there mum i know thats sad but all i can do is what ive always dun is be the best auntie and rol model i can be and thats wot im doing.
as for being there for my sister i dnt want to be she will be angry then forgive him again shes a mother the kids shud cum first they willl grow up hating her
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Re: my sister

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:29 pm

Well massive respect to you for doing what you do
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Re: my sister

Postby strokesurvior23 » Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:50 pm

thanks i cnt have kids so treat em as my own i want to give them as much as my time and attention as i can i love doing things with them if it gets to far out of hand i will have em full time but my mum thinks then they will just become bums and have massive lemonade ups, i love em so much o hate the fact that they may think mummy puts men before them i live at home but my rm isnt my room its mine and the kids thats how at home they feel its great
I love em so much im crying as im writing this, i want them to know they come first there they shud be the most important thing in mummys eyes but there not 8-[
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Re: my sister

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:11 am

it's very sad but you can't make her be a good parent
believe me they will always have respect for you
she may yet come to hr senses - lets hope so
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Re: my sister

Postby ennis81 » Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:34 am

Hi,
Firstly just want to say you sound like a wonderful aunt and sister :P
Your sister is probably lonely being a single parent and feels bein with him is better than being on her own, hopefully she will work out in her own way that hes not worth it. I don't think you should say much to her or your parents about what you think of him because I think it will back fire on you and cause you more grief, do your best to stay out of what is personally goin on in her relationship unless she brings something up, and keep doing what you do for the kids, they need you...Its like Bel Bel says you can't make her be a good parent.
Take care x
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