HI guys,
I decided that I would break up with him, really the problem is that we are spending no time together and it's my life really getting in the way..my work and course are enough for me at the moment, and I'm happy to have him as my friend. That's not today's problem though..basically My problem is this: I have been living with my sister for the last three years and during this time I have experienced the most violent rows and been subjected to temper tantrums all fuelled by alcohol. Each time I've spoken my mind and there has always been some apology and niceness from her...until the next time. Aside from the drinking, my sister is very negative about her life and the slightest thing that goes wrong, there is a big drama and everything is about her. I am the person closest to her and I end up tolerating her bahaviour and giving her advice which she never uses. (including advice to see a therapist) I just don't have peace of mind and relaxation where I live. The last straw was the other day when I came home from work and she told me that she had had a panic attack, and our father had spent the whole afternoon with her(he is nearly 80) calming her down and calling the doctor who gave her tablets. When I arrived home she was lying on the floor having taken a tablet and I had to wrestle a glass of wine from her hand. I have now made the decision that enough is enough and I am going to find another place to rent. I have already told her that I am looking for a place to buy and she is ok with that but complains that I have to give her 2 months notice. I have now decided that I amgoing to rent somewhere else as soon as possible as I am thinking about how I have been putting my own contentment on hold for three years. I mentioned it to my Dad this evening(he knows that she drinks but really doesn't want to gat involved in all that) and he was quite upset at the idea of the boat being rocked, ie that my sister may have to come back and live with him and that will disrupt the peace he has, my sister is really a very noisy and intrusive person to live with. I told him that it is my decision and my life , and he understands, but then he started talking about selling the family home and moving into a flat of his own, and if I can do what I want so can he. It sounds very juvenile for a man who is supposed to be old and wise, but I think it's a reaction to me changing things by moving on and now he had to deal with my sister. So in ways I have been like a parent for the last few years. More than ever before I feel sure in my mind I am doing the right thing, but how do I do it without alienating my Dad? I value him a lot, and don't want to cause a lot of turmoil for him at the age he is at. He lives independently and is quite happy with that(my mother passed away some years ago.) At that same time I need to look after my own needs and stop putting my life on hold. Sorry this is so long. Any advice you all have would be much appreciated.


