Female friend no longer wants to talk to me

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Female friend no longer wants to talk to me

Postby jedicho » Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:48 pm

Hi everyone, I'm new on here and have a friendship problem. I'm a happily married 32 year old male with 2 young boys. I have just started university and have made new friends, one of which is an 18 year old female. We have mostly chatted online (nothing flirty but make each other laugh lots, if you can believe the emojis) and only occasionally actually see each other at university. I have attached every facebook conversation with her here if anyone is really dedicated to help my situation (oldest messages at bottom, person's name replaced by ?'s): http://m.uploadedit.com/ba3s/1479942605393.txt

Basically we were getting on really well and then I happened to drop in that I go trick or treating with my two boys. After this and seeing on Facebook that I am married the conversation has dried up and now it has got to a point where she no longer wants to talk to me. I did not intentially keep this info from her and assumed she had seen my profile properly and knew everything.

The thing I do not understand is how this changes our friendship, surely whether I am 20 or 50 and married or not, if we click as friends it should not matter - maybe I am too open in that way? She said at one point that she does not want our friendship took the wrong way, what does that mean? It got to a point where I was bugging her which unfortunately is easier done than I realised, I just don't like the situation being awkward and kept trying to resolve it. Although the way we left it was that I would not contact her again, I have been tempted to ask her to go for a drink somewhere and chat properly, get everything in the open - is this what a female of that age would want to do or should I leave her alone?

Thanks in advance!
Last edited by jedicho on Thu Nov 24, 2016 12:11 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Female friend no longer wants to talk to me

Postby David020549 » Tue Nov 15, 2016 8:11 am

You are being naive and she is doing you a favour by discouraging you in this way. Originally she thought you were single and there was a prospect of a relationship, having found out that you are married with kids the best way to discourage you is to ignore you and look elsewhere, as simple as that.
As a young married man you should not encourage close friendships with the opposite sex because eventually you will mention a name once too often and your wife will start to get suspicious that an affair is going on. Even if you are totally innocent any doubt about your loyalty can ruin your marriage so make very sure that any friendships are kept at a distance.
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Re: Female friend no longer wants to talk to me

Postby Celebritydiscodave » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:25 am

It makes every difference in the world. Age prejudice and discrimination is all powerful and I`d contend that it is still accelerating away. This girl is either predisposed older, or she`s neutral, either way she is still in all probability significant disparity of years negatively programmed. Either on the surface, or just beneath the surface they are virtually invariably vessels for the prejudice born of the family, media, and her friends. Put just the one stereotypical/thought stereotypical attribute in place and the full weight of societies prejudice is likely to follow. In the position that you are now, a single individual, not any army, the best thing for it is to give up. The alternative is only to dig yourself a deeper hole. You may well have ended it for yourselves had you of been of similar years but the age gap puts the lid on it. Her trust had to accede that which she could sustain without your constant support. This relationship will serve to further the prejudice, and your trying to repair the damage now will likely further it substantially more. There are a few girls that can extend to the age of their father, but the circumstances generally, less the case in the states, have to be highly supportive first.
In my opinion the worst way to end a relationship is generally in ignoring the other party. It might have worked better for the both of you had she just the one time sat down with you and explained why there now could under no circumstances ever be any going back. You cannot have your cake and eat it. I`m sixty one years old, male, and live with three girls, two are nineteen, and one is twenty, but that`s perfectly fine because I made the decision long back to restrict my relationships to friendships.

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