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New chums

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:01 am
by pepsiperfect
I am in need of new chums, but I don`t know how to go about the process.
My old chums have married and started families.
I live in my own world, I am busy everyday - I also go out for an evening -a few drinks ... regularly
What can I do, where can I go 2 make new chums ?

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 6:59 pm
by reckoner
Hello and welcome.

I can sympathise with your situation, all my friends now have kids too and it has had quite an impact on the social routines we used to have. I think the best way to make friends, rather than acquaintances, is to find people with the same interests as you. Start with your hobbies and see what groups there are locally for those activities. Sport is a good one, obviously, given that you always need more than one person to do it, but I'm always surprised by how many groups there are even for solitary activities like writing or art. The good thing about hobbies is that they occupy your time while friendships develop.

The main thing about having friends is to keep in touch with people, even if they now have kids and different priorities and routines. Everyone says they'll keep in touch but the people with the most friends are the ones that actually do it.

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:04 pm
by Cheeky monkey
Why make new ones get in touch with old friends and meet up with them and try and make it more permanent but don't loose your current ones

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 3:24 pm
by pepsiperfect
I need 2 create a new circle. I DON`T have any current friends.
We drifted apart as they chose 2 settle down have families ...
I don`t have any current hobbies, as such. I just go to the local sports center everyday and participate in exercise classes.
I`m 35 and most have settled lives with partners and families. They are also a lot older.
I do go out to socialize - get drunk, every week!!
I don`t seem to meet new people, or see new faces.
I would appreciate new hobby ideas, I am aware I need 2 find an interest and join a club.
Though it is NOT a simple process.
Many thanks

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:12 am
by rufio89
This isnt for everyone, but I met some interesting people through it:

https://www.citysocializer.com/

It's worth trying out, basically they organise social events where noone knows anyone, and you can just turn up and chat to people. It's not a guarantee that you'll make friends but it's worth trying out. I didnt make any life-long friends through it but I did meet some people that I'm now pretty friendly with and can do things like go to the cinema.

Other than that, maybe a running club? People seem to talk more at those than other exercise classes and sometimes go for food/drinks afterwards. It's hard to suggest hobbies to someone else though, what are you interested in? Are you into films? There's an arts cinema near me where they run film nights so you go and watch the film then you can discuss it with other film people afterwards... is there anything like that that would interest you? Or a book club or something?

I'm rubbish at making friends, I'm younger than you at 25 but I've only made a couple of new friends since I was at school, and I find the whole process of talking to new people and making that first reach out really nervewracking. I dont know if you're in the same boat as me in that area, but I have found that when I've forced myself out of my comfort zone, people are more responsive to making new friends than you expect them to be!

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 12:38 pm
by pepsiperfect
It`s NOT that I find the process nervewracking it is just, where do I go, what do I do?
Which is why I thought of joining a club/team. How do I go about finding local groups I could join?

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:52 pm
by reckoner
Your options will surely depend on where you live. I suppose you're more likely to get information online if you're near a big city than, say, Little-Bighampton-under-Water, so I'd suggest you visit your town hall, buy a local paper and check out your local council's website. What are your parks like, any tennis courts, bowling greens, skate ramps? I don't know about your neck of the woods, but people seem to stick up flyers for all kinds of stuff from yoga classes to psychic festivals (how come psychics need to advertise to each other?) on any noticeboard they find - parks, leisure centres, supermarkets, churches, museums etc. Personally, the very first thing I would do is find a pub quiz.

Re: New chums

PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:00 am
by rufio89
pepsiperfect wrote:It`s NOT that I find the process nervewracking it is just, where do I go, what do I do?
Which is why I thought of joining a club/team. How do I go about finding local groups I could join?


In that case, try the citysocialising thing if they do it in your area.

If you dont want to do that, what are your interests? What kind of club/team did you have in mind?