Very confusing

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Very confusing

Postby redshift57 » Sat Oct 27, 2018 6:14 pm

This is just a quick question really.

Why would a close friend never talk about her own life history, yet expect you to answer questions about your own and also insist that you never speak to anyone about the things you may do or discuss however mundane they may be?

Its very difficult and frustrating to maintain a close friendship with someone who has no openess
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Re: Very confusing

Postby reckoner » Sun Oct 28, 2018 5:25 pm

It's difficult to say based on the information you've given, but my first thoughts are:

Does she have a partner that might feel threatened by your friendship with her? (More specifically, if she does have a partner, are you the same gender as them?)

Or, is there anything about your friendship with her that might be controversial to her family or other friends (e.g. cultural backround)?

My guess is that there's something in her life that she either wants to hide, is ashamed of, or is afraid of. You say you are close friends - are you close enough to ask her some gentle questions about what you've noticed?
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Re: Very confusing

Postby David020549 » Mon Oct 29, 2018 7:35 pm

Some people are very careful what they share, even with close friends, women in particular are very careful with relationship history, they only tell you what they want you to know and I would never ask. That applies to older relatives as well, younger ones I have grown up with knowing most of the history and I have been asked not to mention details with their present man.
I would divide chat into 3 groups. If their partner is within earshot hardly any thing controversial is mentioned. If I know their partner, casual grumbles and opinions but nothing too bad. If I don't know their partner, women can be quite open but are still telling you what they choose to. Repeating even a seemingly innocuous confidence can cause a lot of trouble, especially if their partner has been unaware or has been told a different story.

I suggest chat about other things, but if you recount your own life experiences the chances are that she will join in and you will learn some of hers
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