I have been with my partner/friend for 17 years. He moved in after 3 months and I would say a vast amount of that time we have argued. I can never do anything right, I drive the wrong way, I park the wrong way. I feed him too much, things are not cooked enough etc etc. (I am 67 he is 73). I must be wrong with things sometimes I have to be.
I have many times asked him to leave my house and because I do not want to be alone (I was a widow when we met) I always asked him to stay. He even left (twice) and again I asked him back. Mad I know, but this I did. I would say about 5 weeks ago things came to a head again after coming home from holiday and I told him to get out, and this time I am going through with it. I cannot tell you how guilty I feel, he will be homeless. I am helping him to get a place, and would cook meals and freeze them for him and do stuff for him but that also seems a mad thing to do. I do work (I like working apart from the money I like being with people).
He hasn't worked for a long time(8 years) and until about 6 months ago I didn't let money become an issue but it has become a bit of an issue now with me because he moans that he has no money and he does get a fair amount of money weekly for himself. He pays very little towards the house so he really shouldnt be complaining. He is still with me, he is waiting for a place from the council. I treat him as I have always treated him, breaky in bed (mad I know) cooking and doing everything.
I feel guilty more because of his age and he is ailing. He has diabetes, short term memory loss, waterworks problems etc.
My question is how can I combat by guilt's about throwing him out, he is old for his age and I should have done this years ago so at least he could have met someone else.
I am a young 67 year old, I am very lucky I have my health I am not too over weight and I work which I enjoy. He is old, very over weight, nice at this present time because he is leaving and obviously not believing that I am going through with it. So opinions to combat my feelings and situatio 'please. I have made my bed and because of the scare of being on own have let this go on for too long. He hasn't/doesn't even say that he likes/loves or wants me he just says he doesn't want to leave.