I feel ashamed of my 'work' situation

[Tarantula]

Hi PP

I graduated last year and have had a couple of short-lived jobs in gyms since. I've been unemployed since January.

I've always struggled with the concept of having to work ie having to do what others tell you for 8 hours a day of your life. I've dreamt of all sorts of alternatives but I can't seem to commit to much. My mum is funding me at the moment and I feel so ashamed about that. I feel like, at 23, I should be fending for myself like other people my age are, and now I'm meeting guys who are a few years older and have careers sorted, or maybe even mortgages, and it's really intimidating to me.

I want to set up a charity but the process is so confusing and long and I'm riddled with self-doubt about it and feel like I can't do it. I'm going to be volunteering two days a week to a charity starting next month, and plan to work on my stuff in the meantime, but obviously I won't be earning and I just feel so inadequate.

When the money runs out around March, I plan on getting a job with the charity I'll be volunteering for, and if my own stuff works out then great, but I think it'll take a while even if I can do it.

I dread the question 'so what do you do?' Honestly? I do a bit of charity stuff here and there but mostly I just procrastinate and feel paralysed and distract myself.

I went through school changing career plans every week and now I'm done with education and I'm as uncertain as ever. But mostly I just feel ashamed and like a waste of space.

[Bel Bel]

Most of us struggle with the concept of having to work 8 hours a day but most of us don't have the luxury of having somebody to pay our bills when we can't commit to it - sorry that's life.

You are extremely privileged to have the opportunity to choose what you want to do because you are still getting supported.

Perhaps working in a 9-5 would be good for you and give you some structure. Also less time to over think things (thinking of your other posts).

You aren't a waste of space but you are wasting your time drifting about doing nothing constructive. You are obviously intelligent and very articulate - what's wasted is your talent.

Can you actually get a job with the charity in March or this that just a hope? What will happen if the money runs out and you don't get a job?

The thing is you have to almost think of your own stuff as a hobby whilst it isn't paying the bills. So what you should be doing is earning to pay your way and building up your own stuff on the side. Once you get to a point where you can break even on your stuff you can drop the 9 - 5.

Can you get any help with your idea from someone like the Princes Trust?

[flashcampbell]

I appreciate how you feel. I remember feeling the same when I graduated and went to work in the family business. I did try to make something of it until it went bust around the time I had my children. When my eldest was tiny, I got a job in a supermarket to tide me over because the hours suited. I went onto have another child and I am still there as it's too damned convenient but I am also volunteering a bit now my son is at school but the area I'm volunteering is hard to crack into. It is something I wanted to do 20 years ago but gave up because I couldn't see a way in but here I am again. I'm hoping it'll be different this time. No advice as such but good luck and keep going but get something 'real' to bring you some money in, some independence and some new friends.

[Serenlas]

Hey Tarantula

You helped me out once, I know this is an old post but what are you doing now? did you get a career sorted?

Seren