A cow of a co-worker!

[highlandcow]

Hello all,

Well. I started in a new job a few weeks ago, and I was put in a group with about 10 other new starters. The idea is that we all train together for 6 weeks and then get put into separate groups when we start the job properly. This is week 5 just gone.

The problem is that one if the girls in my group in training has a major attitude problem that I can't be dealing with. She's mouthy and gobby and I know it sounds horrible but she just isn't easy to get on with. That's not to say I haven't made the effort. But there is only so much you can do before thinking "this just isn't working". Not only that but she seems to have poisoned the rest of the group against me. I'm not sure why she would go to such lengths. She will talk to everyone else in the group but just blanks me whenever I try to make the effort.

Another problem is that I don't have a car so her and another guy from work have been car-sharing and said they were happy to include me in it. The guy said that he needed £15 a month to cover petrol which is fine by me. I always sant to pay my share. She mentioned she didn't mind too much about getting paid for it. So it was left like that. So last night I got a pretty abusive text from her (she got my number from the other guy at work in the car share arrangement, which I'm not too happy about) basically calling me cheap and how she wouldn't give me lifts anymore. I was pretty shocked! I mean if she'd mentioned it at work I would have been fine to pay up but she's obviously been talking about it with the others, got my number and decided to call me all sorts and make me feel awful about it. I'm not a cheap person, in fact I mentioned to her how I felt really bad about not giving her anything.

I want to get on with my training and I know I only have one more week with this girl and the rest of the group but she's made me feel so terrible I'm dreading going in on Monday. Now I know that she's probably told everyone what she thinks of me. I just want to get on with things and not let her bother me, but it does bother me. It's really upsetting, all I wanted was to get on with everyone.

Does anyone have any wise words?

Thanks!

[captainf]

Once your training is over, will you then be working away from her?
I think that the only thing you can do is tell whoever is training you that she is getting to you. She sounds really manipulative but she will get whats coming to her soon enough as others realise what shes like.

[MaxiBob]

Hello Highlandcow,

First of all, I'm sorry to reply so far from your post and I'm French so please excuse me if there are mistakes in my message.
I hope my words will be wise enough and help you in the future.

Speak to her only for professional things. Avoid her a maximum, and for the car-thing you couldn't know before so don't worry, keep going on your own. Try to not have contact with her, and don't say anything about her to anyone, silence is your best asset. Everything you don't say, people imagine it and try very hard to know what you think. Move on in your life, in what you're think about everything but her. You never know if some trainers like her, they will repeat what you've said and it could get worse. Manage to go to work by yourself and do not count on her for anything. And stay clear with the others about money, or others services they did for you etc...

I am not claiming it's gonna help you with her because it's a bit late i am just hoping if you meet other people like her do it like i've told, I have test it before and now this is the way i do with people who don't like me.

Time and events sort out for us the people who are good for you and people who want to be on your side.

That were just some words and I don't know if there are wise but i was honest and sincere.

Good luck

[epf1]

Dear Highlandcow,

First of all, I'm sorry if I do some language mistakes, I'm a french student and english isn't my birth language.

Five weeks had pass and you still alive.
I have one and only one thing to tell you : Grow a pair. If the situation is harder than you can endure, tell her straight in the eyes keep your anger for you is not the right thing to do, you will be accumulate too much and it will not be good for you.
if not, than you will be working with her for only six weeks so hold your tears hang on and deal with it. No need to talk to her except for professional things, you have other co-worker to talk to and hang out.

I hope that it would be helpful
respectfully

a frenchy

[highlandcow]

Hello all,

First of all, sorry about the lateness coming back and updating on this. My laptop broke and now I have to use my mobile.

Just to let you know all your advice was very helpful. To be honest, it was a tough last week with her, as she did make me feel very unhappy, but now I hardly see her now we've been put in different teams at work. If we see eachother in the corridor we ignore eachother which isn't perfect because I don't like not being friendly, but it seems to be working.

Many thanks for your replies!