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My wife got impregnated by another man.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:58 am
by ethan1983
I was abroad for one year, so technically, my wife and I have been long distance for long. We have been away from each other most of the time since we got married. It was all for business though, so she understood. I met my wife in an international dating site 7 years ago. One time, she called while I was at work and I wondered why. When I took the call, I heard my wife crying over the phone. Nervousness came through me. I thought something bad happened to our daughter. But I was wrong. She called to tell me she got pregnant by another man. I did not know what to say. Yet, I managed to respond with a shaking voice. I asked her why but the only thing I heard from her was “I’m sorry”. She said it was an accident but I did not know what to think. I felt betrayed and I was angry. I didn’t keep in touch with her for two weeks now. She seemed to understand that I was avoiding her. For two weeks, I have been thinking of what to do about it. Since I felt anger inside me, I couldn’t think clearly. Can you help me with this? I badly need your advice.

Re: My wife got impregnated by another man.

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 8:16 am
by boulding
Hi Ethan

This is devastating news and it is hardly surprising that you feel shell shocked and unsure what to say or do. There is no point in recriminations and I don't think you should make any hasty decisions at the moment. Wait until the baby is born and see how you feel and what you want to do. What perhaps you should do now is consider just how much of a marriage bond you really have. Whatever sort of business could take you away for a year and cause you to miss a whole year of your child's life? Undoubtedly your wife felt unloved and insecure and looked elsewhere.

Re: My wife got impregnated by another man.

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 1:38 pm
by Tarantula
Not much of a marriage really. You're away most of the time and she's 'accidentally' having sex with other men. PS - that never happens by accident. You don't slip and fall and get pregnant, that's not how it works.

How awful for you. Have you been with other women too? Either way, I think this is very severe and I personally would not be willing or able to forgive it.

The only thing I can say in her defence is that at least she told you about it, you didn't have to investigate yourself and find out. Does she want to keep the baby or abort? If she keeps, then won't you feel reminded every time you would see the baby, that she slept with other men?

Didn't just sleep with. Arranged to meet behind your back. Had inappropriate conversations. Went to his home - or maybe he came to yours. This is the conclusion of a series of events, all bad, all awful, all unacceptable.

I would divorce. At least, that's what I think, without being in that situation myself.