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Re: Advice re marriage to controlling partner.

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2018 4:51 pm
by rdlk72
There's a part of me that believes i didn't trust her, with good reason!

Do I believe it's justifiable to key a car when discussing how to how to buy a house? Of course not. I hadn't told her the relationship was over at that point only that i was thinking of different ways to pay for a house..

I understand what went through her mind. She thinks that if I’m not willing to go joint ownership of a house that’s because I don’t fully trust her, and if you don’t trust someone there can be no relationship, so she thought the relationship was over, felt very hurt and wanted to do something to make me also feel hurt. Well that’s what she said.. so either that, or it was some sort of show to shock me and get me to change my mind, or more likely she couldn’t handle that she was losing control.

Anyway if it wasn’t for the prior behaviour then I may feel bad about it (well I do feel bad about what happened, but not bad in thinking it was my fault).

Due to her completely unreasonable, uncompromising and demanding behaviour about the house, and her history of manipulation/control etc , then really I know (and all friends, family, and this forum have concurred) that I have been as accommodating as anyone could reasonably expect.