Struggling with wife's moods

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Struggling with wife's moods

Postby The Dark Side » Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:39 am

Hi,

Let me start by saying that I love my wife massively and I have no doubt that I play a significant role in what I'm about to say.

I married my wife recently after being colleagues and flirting for a number of years, we started a relationship and were married in about a year.
Now the reason for my post is that she has very bad moods whenever I disagree with a choice she has made. She often makes the choices without consulting me first, to allow us to discuss them and find a resolution. For example, she will arrange weekends with family or friends and then tell me what the plans are, and that I can come along or not (I'm quite protective of our time together at weekends as we don't get any time together in the week), or that she has decided to get a second job at weekends (cash is quite tight currently).
It's not that I don't always agree, but I feel that I should be consulted with in the plan making.

When I don't agree and try to voice my feelings or concerns (and I appreciate that I'm not the best communicator in the world, but I do stay calm and try to be objective) she will go into a mood and go out for hours. She will also put the phone down on me if I'm trying to talk about it. Stop any communication, go into a silent mode and blank me. We can go to bed not speaking and when I, calmly, try to speak to her the following morning, I will still be blanked/ignored.
This can even happen when I'm trying to do something for her.

Having tried to learn from this I have tried different tactics, such as: leaving her alone, talking to her, not voicing my opinion, buying flowers and chocolates, saying sorry, not saying sorry, but I still end up in the same situation.

This happens quite regularly, maybe once a month on average and after the most recent one (last night, still waiting for her to wake up to see what today brings), I'm feeling a bit lost as to where I go from here.

Thanks in advance for your advice.

TDS
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Re: Struggling with wife's moods

Postby David020549 » Mon Dec 04, 2017 8:35 am

It rather sounds like she has reverted to her single life where she chooses what she does without anyone else involved, that is what she wants to do. As for the bad moods, women in general react badly to their man saying "no", much better to embrace her goals and wants unless it way out of line, there will always be the occasional tiff but don't let it get out of hand.
You haven't mentioned you age but if you have been colleagues for some time I guess you are 30 or getting there, once the honeymoon is over married life does not always meet expectations and the longer you have been single the harder it is. Is there any plan for kids because that will change her lifestyle dramatically, if kids are not on the agenda why did you get married.
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