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A girl I managed to create a rapport with....

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:08 pm
by Silentadmirer19
Hey guys,

I met a girl in my second year of college, I liked her from day one because she would talk about anything and we could have a conversation, even if it was just for a couple of minutes. This is because my last relationship was mediocre, to this day I still can't work out where I went wrong! Anyway, because it had been two years since the disastrous relationship, I felt I was ready to meet someone and take it easy.

The girl I met in college was perfect and I thought to myself, take it slow and let her show she likes me (If it every gets that far) and it turns out, she did like me and she started to show the usual signs such as laughing at random things I said. You can see where this is going now; I wasn't ready, I went in too fast and made her loose feelings all together. We're still friends today (two years after), and I still think what today would've been like if we were together?

My question is; would I be able to revive her interest in me? Even though I'm moving down South (London way) in a months time and we only ever communicate through facebook? If not, if you guys have any advice for the future, please let us know! Thankyou.

Re: A girl I managed to create a rapport with....

Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 9:45 am
by snail
Usually when relationships don't work out there's a good reason and it's better not to go back to them, but it sounds like you were fairly young, so it may be that you've both developed and grown and now it would work for you whereas it didn't before. The only way you will know is to ask her though - she's the only one who can know if her interest in you is still there. If you communicate through Facebook then you could send her a frank message saying you still think about her a lot and wonder if you could ever have a chance with her again. She will probably be pleased to hear that even if she has to say no. If you don't see each other in person any more there won't be any awkwardness to deal with, so you're not risking that much. Go for it if you want it.

If you're moving away soon and it's going to make any relationship really difficult though, think hard. Long distance relationships are very tough to maintain.

Re: A girl I managed to create a rapport with....

Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 2:53 pm
by Silentadmirer19
We didn't even get as far as actually going out as boyfriend and girlfriend, it just came close to it. Which is why I think there's still another chance.

However, because I'm scared how she will react, I don't even know how to start up a random generic conversation out of the blue.

Re: A girl I managed to create a rapport with....

Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 5:42 pm
by Tarantula
Get in touch asking how she is, what's new etc... then ask her out to do something fun with you e.g. go bowling together or walk on the beach or grab a cocktail somewhere cool or something.

I'd avoid sending a 'declaration of undying love' over FB; it's too much pressure and will be off-putting. Just ask her on an actual date, and gauge her reaction from there (and tell us!).

Re: A girl I managed to create a rapport with....

Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:15 pm
by rufio89
I agree with the others but I'd like to add - make sure you're being realistic.

It always rings HUGE alarm bells when people describe a prospective partner as 'perfect'. She isn't perfect. I'm sure she's a great girl and has a lot of excellent qualities, but she's also human, falliable and will have flaws. It's important not to put her on a pedestal and idolise her, it's a lot to live up to, it's quite stressful to be put in that position, and it might be what scared her off the first time.

Have a chat with her, see if she wants to meet up and see how it feels then. As Tarantula says, AVOID outbursts of love.

Re: A girl I managed to create a rapport with....

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:41 pm
by David020549
It can be very difficult to know when to ask a girl for a date, if she chats generally and comes to sit next to you, she is interested and likes your company, steer the conversation to music, films or whatever her particular interests are. That gives you an entry to inviting her to see the latest film for instance, that sort of date is not going to put her off by being too forward, if she accepts a one to one date see how it goes, either she will want another date or she will make excuses why she can't make it.
It's not a good idea to delay asking for that first date, that will put doubts in her mind and that you lack confidence, if you leave it too long and become just a friend she might have moved on. All girls are different but if they don't want to start or continue dating they will say no thanks, but will not usually say why