In love, but abusive controlling it feels .advice

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In love, but abusive controlling it feels .advice

Postby Fallen one » Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:15 pm

It is a super long story, short version is ultimate relationship for 2 years then pregnancy and since not been the same. I have been no angel in the relationship to be clear I try my hardest but because I have a complex mental disorder it can be hard on both of us at times. But over since the pregnancy it changed become controlling and abusive but in a way that does not see it being that way, I have done nothing wrong attitude blinded to the fact of changes and selfish attitude.

The relationship means more to me than anything bar my daughter of course it is my most valued thing in my life, the legitimate first good thing in my life since the start. I hold massive value to it, however since the changes I am the enemy and the relationship gets used as a manipulative device do this or i will leave you, if you cant do that i cant be with you etc but I am trapped as she is my everything and I literally go insane without her and I am used to being abused so fall into that pattern. It is too long to explain but last 2 years have been really hard constantly taking punishment, anger, hatred randomly no reason for it just random from here..............to here it can go from loving to utter hatred. Continuously moving the posts of what is ok and not etc, unreasonable expectations like my disorder is life long but wants me to not have it anymore over night. It keeps me continuously trapped because I can not survive without her, but used as a weapon blocking affection randomly withholding love and intimacy it is driving me insane (more so). To take her burning rage and give me nothing while I do everything she wants and needs. A while ago I did make her leave the house and stay at her mums because she was too much out of hand to deal with every day and night but angry she is not at home but said she is doing nothing wrong and refuses to change. I planned her return and she asked i fix up the house with specific orders, she game me 3 days to strip, clean, tidy ,rearrange and redecorate a 2 bed, 2 living room house, fix the broken washing machine and dishwasher. Beyond logic I did it and she came back and blasted off at me for 5 hours how she hated me so I felt no im not dealing with this after doing this for you.

There is a massive problem she also controls my daughter in terms of my parenting, I am right that I have 50% right am I correct? I am biological father , birth certificate etc. I am the 5th father after both her parents, both her sisters there is me, I have no say I can not do what I want with my girl I can not take her anywhere do anything without her say so. I am tired of being 5th when i should be 1st. The excuse is that I opt out, I do not its more a catch 22 I can not do without her say so but im not doing enough. She controls all things so I can not do anything if I say I will take her for the day im being unreasonable (so that my OH can get some sleep, time) but I end in fights because to me she is squashing my parental rights and to her i have none.

What do I do? im trapped on all sides
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Re: In love, but abusive controlling it feels .advice

Postby stephie2 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:45 pm

I would get out personally and see a solicitor to make sure you get rights to access for your child.
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