No Sex or French Kissing

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No Sex or French Kissing

Postby MrsLonely » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:21 am

Hello there,

I'm new to this forum and hoping that someone would be able to kindly give me some advice on how to go forward with my relationship. I will gladly offer any advice to anyone in return for their time and help.

I'm a 29 year old lady, who's been in a relationship for 7 years and married for almost 2 years. My husband is the same age as me. He is my soul mate and I love him so much, however, our sex life is almost non-existant and the passionate kissing has disappeared.

He is a chronic worrier and I suspect that he suffers from hypochondria and general anxiety disorder and comfort eats and drinks in order to make himself feel temporarily better. Because of his worrying and weight gain, his libido is practically non-existant. I try to support him emotionally as much as possible and have also tried numerous times to persuade him to seek medical advice, but he refuses to do so.

He worries about his sexual performance and loses his erection quickly if he engages in any sort of foreplay or any sexual position other than spooning. On the rare occasion when he does wish to have sex, I have tried to show him what I like by placing his hand on certain erogenous zones and by showing him how I like to be touched. He starts to lose his erection and insists we have sex soon before it completely goes. I've also tried talking to him about what I like, but he seems to get easily overwhelmed and stressed. As such, there is no foreplay.

I try to intiate sex and sometimes he gets an erection, but says that we should try at the weekend or when we don't have household chores to complete. Needless to say, the weekend comes and goes, the chores are completed and we still don't have sex.

In terms of kissing, we give each other cuddles and kiss each other daily, but not passionately. I absolutely love French kissing, irrespective of whether it leads to sex or not but he doesn't like it because he can't breath properly and thinks it's childish. I can't change his likes and dislikes, but would at least like to try to compromise.

I turn to porn and self-gratification to fulfill my needs, but that doesn't solve the long-term problem of feeling rejected and lonely. Are there any other potential solutions that anyone can recommend?

Sorry for such a long post. I hope that, even if nobody can help me, I've at least shared a situation that others may be able to relate to and take some comfort in that they're not alone.

Many thanks for reading.

Kind regards,
Mrs Lonely
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Re: No Sex or French Kissing

Postby Country Joe » Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:03 pm

Hello Mrs Lonely...oh my word very brave of you to share your intimate problems here! It sounds like your husband is clearly depressed and perhaps needs specialist help to break down and deal with his issues! I think all attempts at intimacy at the moment will probably fail until such a time when he is in a better place both mentally and physically! It must be terribly frustrating for you but he's stuck in vicious circle of negativity and probably does not feel sexual at all. He's more than likely embarrassed and upset at his appearance and turns to food which ultimately is causing his demise. I would strongly suggest with your help and support, he makes an appointment with the doctor and begins the process of facing up to and turning around this spiralling descent. Accepting there is a problem is the first step towards solving it! :)
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