Just started dating a girl who's gone quiet all of a sudden

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Just Landed
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Just started dating a girl who's gone quiet all of a sudden

Post by Lance1982 » Tue Jun 06, 2017 3:14 am

Hi all,

Just over a week a go I went on a first date with this girl. The date went really well, we were with each other for about 4 hours but time flew by as we got on amazingly well. A few hours after we went our separate ways I asked if she wanted to meet again and she said yes. However we wouldn't be able to meet for another 5 days as I was going away for the week. During that week we messaged each other so much and quickly the conversations became very romantic/soppy. This was fine and we both seemed to enjoy it.

I eventually returned home on the Friday and that evening I went out for drinks with friends. At the same time she was also out with friends and as we were messaging she suggested we all should meet up. We eventually did and spent a couple of hours together until we went our separate ways. We planned to meet the next day anyway so I saw this as a bonus to see her so quickly after getting home.

The next day we met in a pub and had a drink. Our plan after that was go grab some food then head to the beach to enjoy the weather. Again things were going really well and pretty soon we were kissing and cuddling up together on the beach, by this time it felt as if we had known each other for longer than 6 days. She asked to see me the next evening and I agreed.

However the next day she messaged me to say she had double booked herself and couldn't meet but maybe we could do something during the week. I was suspicious of this but shrugged off my suspicions as me feeling really gutted about not seeing her.

Since then I've hardly heard anything from her and any romantic talk has stopped. I can see from the messaging app we use she's been online but hasn't looked at my messages and the ones she has looked at she's not responded to, especially the one about meeting up again. I'm very conscious of not wanting to bombard her with messages incase it scares her off but I'm also wanting to know why the sudden cold shoulder when I thought things were going great.

I'm not a push over or wimp. I've been single for over 5 years because I know what I want in a relationship and I've not been willing to settle for anything less. I'm also fully aware I've only known her for just over a week but my connection towards her is pretty strong and I thought hers was to me, too. I've been on plenty of dates before but I've never felt a connection like this.

If anyone wants to know I'm a Leo and she's Aquarius.

Any advice about what to do next and how to handle this would be great.

Thank you in advanced.


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Re: Just started dating a girl who's gone quiet all of a sud

Post by David020549 » Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:24 am

Sorry mate she's changed her mind and probably does not want the relationship to go further, don't expect a rational explanation, even though the last date went well she went home and decided no. It could have been something you said or did or just her finding out more about your work, prospects, politics, likes and dislikes, anything might have put her off.

You don't mention her age but as women get older they get much more choosy who they get serious with, having a few dates to find out about a boyfriend before deciding to commit. For instance, if she was looking for a man to marry and have kids with money prospects would be high on her agenda, or if she was a bleeding heart liberal and you are right wing that might not be a good relationship.

You might try one more contact but if no progress move on.

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Permanent Fixture
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Re: Just started dating a girl who's gone quiet all of a sud

Post by highlandcow » Wed Jun 07, 2017 11:43 am

Ouch. I've been there and it hurts doesn't it?

I would try once more and see what happens. She might have a good reason for her silence but if she doesn't reply to that then please try not to waste too much time and emotion on her. Ghosting (as I believe the kids call it) is a particularly cruel thing to do and you shouldn't waste another second on someone who is cold enough to do that sort of thing, particually after having some lovely sounding dates with you.

Trust me, you haven't done anything wrong either. She is the one with the problem, not you! One more message to see where things are, and if nothing back from that, then move on. It's her loss, not yours!
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly

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