Saturday night with random men

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Saturday night with random men

Postby chriswat » Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:11 pm

So I have a real issue.....my new fiancée went out at the weekend, no problem, however she was going out with her girl mates to celebrate a birthday. Later they agreed to meet one of the girls male friends. Soon people wondered off and there was just her and the friend along with the male friends, and she decided to go back to one of the lads house along with them all for drinks. Not returning until 4.30am!!! I was worried no sign of where she was etc etc, I would point out she has NEVER met the males before
Whilst at this house , she went to the toilet and was approached by one of them to kiss her....she said no apparently and he tried again, and she pushed him away, she then got a taxi home...

I am really worried, we have been together about 2 years. why would you go back to a mans house with his friends without knowing them for a drink when been out so long.....why just them 2 females. I wonder if more happened.

What would anyone do in these circumstances I cannot believe she put herself into this predicament
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Re: Saturday night with random men

Postby Tarantula » Wed Aug 03, 2016 1:50 pm

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

It sounds like you didn't fully trust her prior to this event. The event itself is questionable, yes.. but not if you fully trusted her to begin with.

One time, I went to a party, got absolutely muntered and found myself at a friend of a friend's house (a guy) where there was a bunch of people taking drugs and stuff, and it really wasn't my scene so I kind of vegged on the sofa for a while chatting to somebody else who seemed mutually uncomfortable. I tried to make something of the situation, but ended up drinking water, sobering up and coming home super late. I was single, but I didn't want to do anything with anyone, so I didn't. I was just out of a relationship so felt a bit 'wrong' doing anything with anyone. Even though I was drunk, I still had that discretion and didn't want to, so I didn't.

What I'm saying is, sometimes when you're drunk, one thing leads to another in terms of where the party goes, you're inclined to sort of follow the crowd, and this in itself doesn't mean she DID anything with anyone. I know it looks bad. But you should be able to tell if she's lying to you or not.

I'd be unimpressed if my BF did the same; I'd need lots of reassurance that nothing more happened and I might be upset about it for some time, but ultimately I'd give him the benefit of the doubt because I know him and I know he wouldn't be able to keep a poker face if he'd done something.

She should be prepared to give you all the reassurance you need, as the situation on the surface DOES look dodgy; but that doesn't mean it IS automatically dodgy. So talk to her. Examine every atom of the evening if you need to. She should be nothing but reassuring about it.
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Re: Saturday night with random men

Postby Mrconfused74 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 2:03 pm

Are you sure she has Never met them before? If she had on a few occasions even in just passing of if out with this friend that knew them, then she may well of felt comfortable in going.
She's told you one of the guys tried something so has been honest with you, maybe it was true, maybe she did kiss him but then stopped, maybe she did sleep with him. Tarantula is right, only you will know if she's lying, it may well be that over time her story changes a botany it will come out she did more. What you need to decide is if you trust her, and can you forget what happened as a one off. I'm sure if she knows how concerned you were at least in future she will text to let you know she's ok, or if she's going on somewhere and will be very late home.
If she's not done anything like this before, then it's possibly a one off, if on the other hand her behaviour has changed and it becomes more regular then you may have cause for concern. I've been there and trust me you'll know if things aren't right.
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