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Do I end it or wait ?

Posted: Mon May 23, 2016 11:17 pm
by nibbles09
A quick overview of the current dilemma I'm in. I'm a single male who works closely with a female married colleague. Last summer we went out and ending up having a few too many drinks and somehow ended up sharing our feelings about each other. One thing lead to another and ended up sleeping together. Now the intention was far from our mind to end up in bed. The female colleague had just had had a fling and her husband had taken her back. After that night we never talked about it and carried on as normal at work.

Fast forward 6 months and somehow ended kissing in the lift at work. We then embarked on a full blown affair. Having met her family and sister who all agreed that she hadn't been happy with her husband for months and suggested that she leave him rather than live a lie. Now I'm totally different to her husband he is 12 older than her, we are similar in age. Her husband and her have nothing in common and we have similar interest. We both came to a decision that she was to leave her husband and move in with me. I should let you know her daughter was aware off us both and supported her. However it all went wrong her husband found out about us (he's my boss). Shes ended up not leaving as he broke down in tears and in my onion used lots off emotional blackmail towards her.

Six weeks later she contacts me and says how sorry she is and that her feelings for me hasn't gone away. She says she stayed for the wrong reason and if she leaves him he'll become a broken man. She has told him that she loves him but in love with another man.She regrets not leaving but continues to wish she had but is worried for her husbands emotional state, he's not done anything bad to her loves her unconditionally and taken her back twice and forgiven her. But overal shes not happy and wants out but afraid to take the next step.
I've moved to another part of the company to distance myself but do still get a lot of hassle from male colleagues who hold her husband in high esteem.
Where still in contact ans been on several dates out and each time her returning to her husband. I think she knows that this can't go on and has made the choice to end her marriage and move in with me which she hopes to do this month but is scarred to tell him.
My question is will it last or am I being a complete idiot thinking it will all work out? We both know we love each other and feel we would make a good go at a relationship together

Re: Do I end it or wait ?

Posted: Tue May 24, 2016 7:32 am
by KrisDM
She's bad news, in my opinion. A serial cheat. She might get fed up with you at one point and do the same. What is she like to live with? Do you really know her that well? The passion of the affair is exciting but think long-term.

The fact that she has done this once shows deceipt, but twice shows that she only cares about herself. I get that she's not happy and that the marriage isn't working out, but there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. It sounds like she's stringing you along. She needs to make a decision as it sounds like she's got her cake and eating it too.

You're are better to be rid of her I think, but either way, she needs an ultimatum. Get yourself a woman that just wants you (100% of the time). I believe that if she truly wanted you, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Good luck.

Re: Do I end it or wait ?

Posted: Tue May 24, 2016 1:14 pm
by David020549
You had an affair but I the end she chose her husband, now move on there is no future in any relationship, she had her fling now back to hubby where she feels secure.