Advise wanted please...

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Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:01 pm
Gender: Male

Advise wanted please...

Post by J3007 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:23 pm

So my relationship is in a complete and utter rut and I need help fixing it.

So where to start ? Me and my partner of a year have lately (past 2/3 months) been having a lot of issues and when I say a lot I mean ALOT. Constant arguments, that have turned physically and verbally abusive and just finding it dramatically hard to get it back on track. We argue a lot about silly things, mainly cause by me I must admit, and there's a few things she does that rub me the complete wrong way or make me full uncomfortable that I kick up a stink about. I admit fault in this department completely and am now doing my best to get that under control and learn to bite my tongue for the sake of our relationship. She's never been great at communicating or listening when theres an issue and often results in her saying "if you don't like things the way they are then leave! Because i am who I am
And won't be changing one little bit" I've never once tried to control her or asked her to change, I mean I feel in love with the women for who she is... She just seems to think I'm constantly to blame, and won't see fault or even attempt to reason...
The arguments are continuing and on going and have no gotten to the point when I don't think she values or cares what the outcome of the relationship is... She's avoiding seeing me as much and is working late or going out and the conversations just seem forced it honestly feels like she's just checked out of the relationship completely...

I don't know what to do or how to pull this one back... I don't want her to change, just want to know that she values our relationship enough to at least listen when things become tough...

Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2016 10:26 am
Gender: Female

Re: Advise wanted please...

Post by lily1120 » Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:18 pm

It's really nice that you like the way she is and doesn't want her to change.
And as you have said that she said she will not change and yeah, you don't want her to change either, the only thing is that you don't have a chance to tell her your mind, tell her you like the way she is, tell her there is no need to change..
Is it possible to tell what happened between you two? I don't know how things going between you two, but maybe do something she really like, do something she wants to do but never has a chance? Create a place, a chance for yourself to let her know how you treasure this relationship, and ask her about if there is anything she feels unhappy about?
If it still doesn't work, maybe you have to let it go?
I don't know whether this helps or not, but hope you two would be fine.

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