need to move on

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need to move on

Postby taa04 » Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:07 am

Hi all im very new to this but could use some help. My ex left last year out of the blue, but has never really gone, after a couple of months he said he wishes he never said he didn't or would never love me, he started being very attentive. Saying lovely things spending time really seemed to be making an effort. Although he has never said i do love you. Or lets try again, but if i ever say anything about him not wanting me or that he doesn't love me he tellsme im talking rubbish. Anyway i thought he does seem to be trying we will hopefully get there. So I've been really quite ill last couple days and he promised me he would be round to help me today showed up really late and i was a bit cross and i told him look im upset u let me down, so he gets a bit humpy but he says i gotta go work for a bit i be back later. But then i get some short message from him saying i wont be round im working. I will ring you in a bit. Since then I've had the silent treatment. So now i ferl like im bk there wondering what goin on,u know i should walk away but i truly thought we were getting somewhere. Any thoughts???? Thank you
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Re: need to move on

Postby miaow » Fri Oct 09, 2015 4:36 pm

I hope you are feeling better from your illness.

I'm afraid to say but to me he sounds a bit of a timewaster.

I'm not sure how to interpret 'he has never really gone'? What do you mean: that you are living together, sleeping together?

You seem to have been waiting the best part of this year for him to confirm you are a couple again. Something he still hasn't done, he has left you lingering and hoping.

If you've been ill and he shows up late with no good reason, and then doesn't show at all (unless there is a good reason or he is in work and can do nothing about it) then he is showing you that you are not his priority.

It doesn't sound a balanced relationship, it sounds like everything is on his terms and you are always there when he wants you. Maybe a direct talk with him about what he thinks is actually happening with you both ie couple, friends, friends with benefits, etc.

If he doesn't want to be a couple and you do I'd suggest giving him his marching orders. Tell him you want to be a couple and if he doesn't then you accept that but need space to get over him and try to find someone new. I'd cut contact with him then and try to move on to someone who wants what you want.
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Re: need to move on

Postby David020549 » Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:02 am

Move on, finish with him permanently you are obviously very low on his priority list when you should be number one. Casual time keeping really irritates others and this guy has been getting away with it all his life, he will not change. His attitude to work will be just the same and only payday makes him turn up, it's not just you he's a waste of time all round.
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Re: need to move on

Postby retrochav » Sun Oct 11, 2015 1:24 pm

Love is easy to say, it's demonstrations that show its real.

Only you know if there is any point going on with this, but the signs don't look great if you both want different things.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Re: need to move on

Postby johnay » Mon Oct 12, 2015 6:35 am

I think you know the answer to your question really. It strikes me that if your other half is ill then you make a big effort to be there for them. If you can't rely on him in this sort of situation then it doesn't sound good to me.. As for him going off in a huff because you were upset with him then it sounds like he has a great deal of growing up to do. Adults who behave like that when the going gets tough don't seem like a good catch..
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