I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

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I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Wed Oct 07, 2015 7:44 pm

This is my first post so I'm not really to sure how to go about it but.... a few weeks ago I was looking for a gift for my son on my girlfriends computer when I came across videos of lesbian porn. I was absolutely shocked!! It ranged from a saved video of 2 women kissing in a shower to full on sex. I didn't know what to do so after a week or so sweating on it I decided to ask her about it. She told me that she had never seen them before.later after a lot of questions she said she was curious to watch them. She told me that she was just looking at sex in general and she's not sure why she watched them. She says she doesn't find women attractive but I don't know what to believe anymore. If I'm honest it's tearing me to pieces. We've been together for 10 years and she's my absolute world. We have 2 beautiful kids and even though we've always had our ups and downs I thought we was the strongest couple on the planet. We've never kept secrets (or I didn't think we did) but I feel like I've been knocked for 6. I'm just wondering do you think there's more to it or is it just that my confidence has been knocked etc? Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this and I know it might so silly compared to a lot of other people's problems but would love to hear what you think? Thankyou!! x
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby Mrconfused74 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:10 am

Do you ever look at porn? If so why? Does your partner have a higher sex drive than you, this could be one reason for it, or she could just be curious, women enjoy porn just as much as men, the reason she chose lesbian porn could be for no other reason other than she didn't want to see dicks or cum scenes. Some lesbian porn is rather crude whereas others are done more tastefully, in that they are not fake, rushed or end with a woman being covered in man jam! I wonder if it's the fact she's watching porn or what she might be doing while watching it that's really bothering you? Masturbation is a natural thing, some do it to realease sexual frustration others if the sex in the relationship isn't enough for them. So what you need to do is work out exactly what it is about this that bothers you, then you can find the answer.
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:50 am

Thanks for the reply, it really doesn't bother me one bit her watching porn I just found it strange for her to watch women only? I know it's different for each person what they find a turn on but I would never find myself watching gay porn because I have no interest in it. I might sound daft but I really don't mean to. Just feel a bit confused by it all!
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby Mrconfused74 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:58 am

It must bother you otherwise you wouldn't have posted on here. My ex didn't like hardcore porn but we would watch softer ones together, sometimes it was just women, but the difference is immense between the two. So I would guess it's that that she is interested in. Have you suggested watching it together? Watching porn isn't a bad thing, maybe if she was more open about it, it'd be more acceptable. But as I said before sometimes it's not the watching but what's going on while watching that's the issue. And it makes us question our ability to satisfy our partner.
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby snail » Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:14 am

The issue here is specifically that it's lesbian porn - you are concerned that your partner may have gay or bisexual feelings that she hasn't been honest with you about, and that makes you feel like perhaps she doesn't really want you, or may not stay with you. I think almost anyone would feel like you do now. But if you have asked her about it and she says she doesn't find women attractive, there isn't much more you can do. It is worrying that she lied about it when first questioned, but it could possibly have just been curiosity or, as the previous poster said, a desire to watch something that was explicit but not rough or violent like other types of porn are. My own partner (who is a straight male) watches lesbian porn, but when I have asked him about it he said it wasn't so much that there were two naked women instead of one, but that he was turned off by the violent feel of most other types of porn. It is possible that your partner feels the same.
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:02 pm

Yeah it is just the fact it's lebian porn and the fact I feel she trued to cover it up and lie. I get everyone watches porn, so do I but since this has happened I just feel a bit all over the place. If I knew she just watched but isn't bi or anything fair enough, but I don't want to be dragged along until she comes out or decides that she feels the need to have sex/experiment with women in the future. It sounds really bad but I don't know if I would feel the same way about her if she is bi??
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby Mrconfused74 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:26 pm

Does she know you watch porn? If not what's the difference ? Maybe she lied because she was embarrassed, maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings I'm case you thought she was masturbating over it. Maybe you should google porn for women, I think you'll find it's much different to the normal hardcore stuff, it's unlikely seeing a dick or girl being taken roughly will excite her, so it's the softer slower stuff that will turn her on, none of this means she's bi or gay, just curious. Maybe you should worry if she starts going out more, having more girly nights, or seeing or talking about one girl in particular, until then why not enjoy it with her, don't worry over something that isn't there. How would she react if she knew you were watching it without her?
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:06 pm

Is there any women put there that watch lesbian porn that could help me?
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby David020549 » Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:45 am

So much porn these days portray women being used and abused, apart from S/M most lesbian porn is gentle and tender and your girlfriend obviously prefers that, so make sure that your loving is what she wants. Don't think that she might be gay judge her by her response to you, most men and some women watch porn, it is controversial so don't make an issue out of her denying it.
Quite often porn actually reduces sex desire between couples, concentrate on each other not performers on the screen.
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Sun Oct 11, 2015 10:35 am

Thanks for the reply, I think what I'm worried about deep down is that she might be bi/lesbian and might want things that I can't give to her (being a man) things seem to be going OK between us But it just seems to be on the back of my mind all the time. I just hope it doesn't destroy our relationship. I know it was wrong of me but I've since looked on her laptop in more detail and there seems to be loads of sex scenes with famous actresses on. I haven't mentioned it as I don't want to make things worse, I just feel as she's slipping away from me
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby Tarantula » Sun Oct 11, 2015 11:50 am

Let me just throw in there that I am a straight woman and I loooooove lesbian porn.

It's got nothing to do with being attracted to women, I think it's... sort of... knowing how it would all feel from a woman's point of view.

Hell, sometimes I wish I WAS attracted to women as I think they'd understand me better.

But basically, you have nothing to worry about whatsoever. She shouldn't be lying about it, but you can understand why she would.

Don't worry!
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Sun Oct 11, 2015 8:53 pm

Haha thankyou for replying, I think it's something I need to just learn to forget and get on with and stop it being a problem. I think it just hurt more that I was lied to and obviously you start worries if there's more to it if she's not telling the truth!
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby johnay » Mon Oct 12, 2015 6:25 am

Hi I don't want to throw a spanner in the works but feel I need to comment. Many of us have same sex attractions and have viewed gay porn as well as straight stuff. I can't tell you whether your partner is bisexual or not nor can any of the other posters. Only your partner can tell you that and she may not be terribly sure of what she is..
From my own experience as a man I have to admit watching gay porn and looking at intimate pictures of male celebrities etc just like your partner. Does that mean that I am bisexual? I'm afraid that it does..I'm married and have been for a long time but have never admitted my bisexuality to my wife although some friends know. I admit that I did eventually try gay sex and enjoyed it a lot. I haven't ever cheated on my wife with a woman..
I have been on a bisexual forum and know there are many folks who are married and have remained faithful and want to continue to be faithful to their partner but just want to be able to admit that they fancy folks of both sex..Marriages are a gamble that have to be worked on and sexuality can be fluid throughout our lives. You can't give your partner a woman's physique but you can give her love, sensitivity, emotional stability etc. My advice is ask her again and tell her you don't mind what she is as long as she is honest..but feel good about yourself too because you must be a great guy for her to have chosen and to be thoughtful enough to have posted and listened to advice on here
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby shaun0321 » Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:25 pm

Thankyou for you reply, I have asked if she would just be honest with me but she told me that she just watch it for the sex and not the women but I just can't get my head around it. My view is that she must find women attractive to get turned on by them or is that just me? She said that she doesn't find women attractive but I just don't know what to make of it all and if I'm honest I feel exhausted by it all and ready to call time on our relationship. I wish I never found it as everything was going so well up until that moment. Were meant to be going on holiday this week but think it might be best not to as I don't want it to turn into a disaster.
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Re: I found lesbian porn on girlfriends computer!!

Postby johnay » Mon Oct 12, 2015 2:26 pm

Shaun I think that if she has told you she is straight then believe her..let's be honest with ourselves when we know that sometimes we might have looked at some porn that really wasn't our thing but maybe we just needed to look at it know that..also I am sure you must have looked at some attractive man at some point in your life that you found really hot.
I think you need to stop worrying about this because she hasn't cheated or done anything bad at all and it does seem as though you are getting too wound up by it all. It does seem to me to bit over the top to end a long term relationship because you found some porn. If we all did that half the country would be divorced......Everything beforehand was going so well for you so why shouldn't that continue. If I were you I would go on holiday, forget about all this and have a great time together..
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