Bel Bel wrote:WELL THE ONE SHE HAS HAD SEX WITH AND ONLY OCCASIONALLY SEES I HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU- sorry on caps
The other guy i see differently. She has never done anything with him upto now so why do you think she might in the future.
If he was her friend before you met then i don't think you have the right to stop her seeing him
Why are ypou so sure this guy would try it on with your girl? So what if he fancies her, you cn't stop peopel fancying other people but that doesn't mean they don't have bounderies.
Also if your g/f did decide to do something with him it just shows she isn't committed to you, maybe it would be better to find that out sooner than later
The problem is if you try to stop her that could be what ultimately pushes her away. People don't like to be controlled and told what to do.
Have you spoken with her about this and what are her feelings on the subject?
We have talked about both these guys. She seemed annoyed about me not wanting to see the one she had sex with before, but she didn;t want me seeing a friend of an ex of mine. There was no past between me and this girl, nor was I attracted to her, but I respected her feeling on the matter. I thought it would only be fair for her to respect mine as well, especially considering the sexual history there. She has not been in touch with him because she says she doesnt care for him and loves me. So I have no worries on her part of anything happening. As I have said, I am not worried about my g/f doing anything, I know she wouldn't, but I don't like the thought of someone trying it on with her and putting her in that situation...and then me hearing about it! I think anyone would feel that way though.
As for the other guy, he is a sleezy person. I have met him, and the way he talks to women is cheesy and sleezy, and I know he has fancied my g/f for a long time. I know she wouldn't do anything and she told me that nothing has or would ever happen, but let slip about a 'thing' they do. He is a local dj (not really a close friend, but they are friendly), and he knows her and all her mates. When they go out, my g/f greets him by them both giving a kiss on both cheeks and a peck on the lips. I told her I wasn't happy about it, and saw it as cheating not in a serious way, but because I see kisses as being quite an intimate thing between people. And I wouldn't like the thought of kissing her after he had 'been there' so to speak in that intimate way. Call me old fashioned (even though I'm 20 lol), but I wasn't comfortable with it because of his feelings towards her. I think that's going over the boundary, which I think is fair. He was chatting her up and trying it on, saying that he didn't like me cus she was going out with me (while was in another country at Uni!). She told me about it and I was really pi**ed off by how cheeky that was, he knew I was with her, but yet was sayng stuff like that! How can I let a guy like that be friends with my girlfriend? I know I can't stop people fancying her, she gets looked at left right and center when we go out, but I just ignore it because I know she loves me and wants to be with me (this was a big issue for a while as I thought she was looking at other guys because they kept looking at her, but we talked and sorted it out). This is my first serious relationship, and it's been a big learning curve.
The main point I was making is don't judge people if they do these things or feel this way, as it may be the things you are doing, or other people or are doing to you, that is causing it. Maybe not major things to you, but others see things in different ways, and in a loving relationship I feel that sometimes people have to make some sacrifices every now and again to respect their partners feelings. I don't think I am overly jealous and/or controlling because of this, as I have good reasons to feel this way.