Still going on

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Lust_2019
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Still going on

Post by Lust_2019 » Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:28 pm

Hi all

9 years ago I met a guy on a online dating app, we went on a few dates and had some fun (sex) but he wasn’t interested in a relationship at the time. Which I was fine with.

Fast forward 9 years both of us are married, with kids however he’s still constantly texting me, he told me a few months he’s unhappy in his marriage but he won’t leave her. I just provided him with moral support.
I’m not emotionally interested in this guy, we not meeting for sex but he’s still texts me most days without fail, usually about his day, asking how I am. Obviously he’s texting when she’s not around.
We cut contact every couple of months but he always comes running back every time.
I just wanted to ask what’s people views on this? Xx

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X_Smiler_X
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Re: Still going on

Post by X_Smiler_X » Tue Aug 11, 2020 9:09 am

Hi,

How do you feel about him texting you? I think even though he is only texting to tell you about his day, he is thinking of you, and using any excuse to text you.

This is a tough one as technically he isnt doing anything wrong as his texts are general chit chat, but you know as well as I do that eventually they will lead to the same content as before.

Sorry I can't be much help. I think you need to decide to either cut ties or keep in touch.

X
Smile at life, and life will smile back at you :D

reckoner
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Re: Still going on

Post by reckoner » Tue Aug 11, 2020 11:53 am

X_Smiler_X wrote:
Tue Aug 11, 2020 9:09 am
he is thinking of you, and using any excuse to text you
I agree.

Lust, I think you should consider how the pattern of contact with this guy compares with a genuinely platonic friend:

Do they contact you this frequently?
Would you have met them through a dating app?
Would you have had sexual relations with them in the past?
Would you have to "break contact" with them every couple of months?

The fact that you are seeking others' views on this suggests to me that you already detect that something is a bit off here and there is a good chance his intentions are not entirely innocent.

If you can't feel confident about his intentions, and I don't think you should, I think you should break contact with him permanently.

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snail
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Re: Still going on

Post by snail » Wed Aug 12, 2020 12:33 pm

I agree - I would cut ties and stop replying. This is a man who wasn't interested in a serious relationship with you before, and who is now risking your marriage, and using you, to feel better about his own problems. This is not innocent, and I imagine neither of your spouses would be OK with it if they found out. It's not fair to your husband and it's not worth the risk. If this man isn't happy in his own life he needs to decide what he's going to do about that.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

Najwa Zebian

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Tarantula
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Re: Still going on

Post by Tarantula » Tue Aug 18, 2020 5:12 pm

He's kinda using you to try and egg himself on to get out of his unhappy marriage. He needs more momentum before he can do it - to know that there'll be someone waiting.

Out of respect for your husband, you should cut contact. It's been nine years. Enough.

Dave777
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Re: Still going on

Post by Dave777 » Sat Aug 22, 2020 4:30 pm

All you are doing is boosting his ego, tell him you’re breaking contact then block his accounts, nothing good is going to come of continuing and it could be very bad.

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